Archives for January 2011

Kyle’s World, My World

1. Kyle's World – "I don't want to share".

Learning how to share is a socio-emotional development that Kyle seems to be lagging in. I suppose it is a challenge for an only-child, especially when he does not need to share his toys most of the time at home. 

This afternoon we had a conversation about sharing in school. It started with him telling me that he and his friend were the only two that cried in class today, as he got scolded by his teacher for snatching a toy from the latter. I reminded him that it was wrong to snatch from his friend and he had to share. And that the reality of life is that we don't always get what we want all the time, even when we ask nicely.

He still insisted for a while that "I don't want to share." I had to explain to him all about social norms and how one has to share to be a friend and to play with friends. Later he admitted to me that he didn't know how to share, and found sharing hard to do. We said a prayer together and ask God to help him to share with his friends and learn to be a kind and giving friend.

With time, I am sure sharing will get easier for him.

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Homework, for the first time from school.

Dh was shocked to hear that Kyle has brought homework back from school. I wasn't surprised. Even for a school that learns through play, the principal probably felt that it was time to start introducing the concept of homework at Nursery. He needs to start somewhere, I guess.

 

2. My World

2010 was really a year that I focused alot on Kyle's home-learning and his development. Reviewing through the year, I realised that the closest thing that I did for myself was start up myplayschool.net with Pauline, sharing our knowledge and passion about home-learning with other moms. However, the nature of it is still rather Kyle focused, in the sense that it afterall revolved around what I was doing with him at home. Caught in the busy-ness of planning home-learning activities, I had little time to think about what else I wanted to do. I dabbled a little in photography, but really had no time to be out exploring other subjects apart from the boy.

Being 'kid-focused' is surely the role of every SAHM, but it does get a tad bit unhealthy when the mind is only occupied with 'what to teach, learn and activities to plan.' Besides true domestication happens only when the SAHM's obsession moves beyond the child and goes into either whipping up wondrous meals for the family (which I have yet to achieve), or being able to use the hand-made craft to beautify the house (I am on the way!).

Until I discovered the craft of sewing in end November. It started out with my fascination with felt, making felties for Christmas gifts and using felt for appliques. I realised that I could really enjoy doing this long term. I went on to explore embroidery, then got myself a sewing machine as I figured I needed a proper canvas for my appliques and embroidery. These 'canvases' came in a form of linen, my love for printed fabric, which were then put together to form wristlets, clutches and totes. Plus it helped that I had a sewing mentor, Pauline, who generously shared tips and tricks with me. So my learning curve wasn't too steep :)

From wool felt;

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To an eclcetic mix of 60’s-70’s-inspired, modern conversationals and kitschy, whimsical woodland features, animals; owls, birds, deers, foxes, bunnies, monkeys, cats. I tried to group them in colours, but since there seem to be quite a variation in the styles and their shades, so this was my best attempt.

In greens and teals,

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In beige. citrus, yellow and browns,

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In blues,

 

In reds and pinks;

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In blacks and greys…

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I tend to get a little 'gollum-like' with my fabrics. I can't bear to use some of my favorites ones and taking them every once in a while to admire them, so I have plans for more use of fabrics around the house. Starting with the table cloth, table liner, and a couple of sofa cushions. Sewing has been a really enjoyable hobby so far and there is so much I want to do. Pity I only have a pair of hands and limited time :(

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Note : If you are one of those moms who are focused on nothing else except your child's development and intellectual development, go and get a hobby! Be it cooking, baking, drawing, photography, shopping, sewing, whatever. Your life will be more varied and u will not be overly obsessed over your child's development or his/her well-being. And if you write a blog, do give yourself and your readers more topics of interest to read about, apart from what your child has done, can do or what u plan to do with your child. Being a parent really shouldn't make you lose your individuality or not have time to pursue your passions.

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Feeling felty

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One small section of a felt/embroidery project that I have recently started, that took an abrupt hiatus when I was feeling groggy from fever these 3 days. Another 4 more parts to complete before this project can be wrapped up…and I have like 5-8 others that I have lined up to do next.

Realised that crafting bigger projects like this, is excellent to build up my perserverance, which I have little of.  Maybe I should take on more bite sized projects?  Regardless, this will be eventually completed, just have to focus my distractions (with the other projects) with whatever pockets of time I have when the boy takes his naps.

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Academic success = Successful Parenting?

I am tired, tired of hearing about how 'kiasu' Singaporean parents are, and the extend that they go to ensure that they give their child a good headstart (or so they think).  Came across this article a few days on how parents 'queued overnight to get their tots on the 2013 waitlist of a popular Bukit Timah pre-school'.

2013…their tots are like barely a year old now and they are scrambling to secure a place for their child in a preschool. Putting this into perspective, when K was one, I was waiting for him to take his first steps, hear his first word, worrying about his meals (something which I am still doing) and wondering when will he ever reach the milestone of sleeping through the night.

I came across another article recently about 'Why Chinese Mothers are Superior', that highlighted some interesting attitudes among some Chinese parents. The majority believed that "academic achievement reflects successful parenting," and that if children did not excel at school then there was "a problem" and parents "were not doing their job." Inversely, almost 70% of the Western mothers said either that "stressing academic success is not good for children" or that "parents need to foster the idea that learning is fun. There were other studies reflected in the article that "compared to Western parents, Chinese parents spend approximately 10 times as long every day drilling academic activities with their children. By contrast, Western kids are more likely to participate in sports teams."

The next half of the article about how a chinese parent will react when the child gets A- is absolutely horrifying. It might work for the compliant and obedient child, but try it on the strong willed one, who will have the tenacity to battle to the end, and see how it turns out. There is so much about this article that I have to disagree with, especially when there is no mention about the importance of values or consideration of the child's personality. How about natural ability? All children are wired differently, so no matter how much hard work, punishment, rewards, insults etc, will be able to work on some of them who simply do not have what it takes to reach a certain level of achievement.

How about parents with kids who are naturally intelligent and are able to reach high achievements at a young age? They are indeed blessed to have kids like that, but bystanders do need to stop taking their achievements as yardsticks for their own child's achievements, or think that their methods as excellent case studies to use for their own children. Pace of development, environmental influences, personality traits of the child, learning styles etc can vary greatly from child to child.

Sure, I agree that alot of children these days have gone 'soft', they give up too easily and do not have the resolve to finish a task when they are not able to succeed in it. Work ethics are also important, children need to be taught that work will not always be fun all the time and they still need to learn the responsibility to finish what they started. To have the desire to succeed for yourself (and not in comparison or competition to another) is of importance, but at what cost? And what about the process involved in reaching that destination?

Successful parenting is more than just producing children with high academic achievements or high achievers. It is teaching them to show compassion to others, loyalty and integrity, knowing how to deal with failure and have the resolve to pick themselves up and the tenacity to try again. And what matters more than achieving success in life is family and relationships, and knowing how to be content with life. Afterall, success according to the world's standards is always defined in material terms, and in the accumulation of wealth, there will always be something better, bigger, newer and nicer, the never-ending treadmill of going nowhere.

 

Phillipians 4:11-13.

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

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