We have found ourselves a new permanent resident…
In hb and my room that is.
Just when I just declared to someone who visited our house last month that Kyle sleeps alone in his room. Technically, it is not wrong cos he has been sleeping by himself since he was 2.5 years old and somehow discovered the joys of co-sleeping 
The routine has been like this for the last 2-3 months;
1. I tuck him into bed after bedtime stories, bible devotion then a prayer
2. I lie down next to him on his bed and we chat for like 5-10 minutes, until I declare that he needs to sleep and stop talking or asking me questions
3. I announce that I will only be next to him for like 5 minutes, halfway through that 5 minutes he ask for extra 5 minutes. So we end up with more than 10 minutes. When 10 minutes ++ is up. I declare loudly that I am moving to sit on the floor next to him, for like 1 minute. Will then do a mental countdown of a 1 minute and then tell him time is up. He asks for one more last minute, I tell him this has to be the last '1 minute'…then I do another mental countdown. After the 1 minute is up and stand up, kiss him on the cheek then say goodnight, he then grudgingly answers me with a muffled goodnight with his head buried in his pillow.
On good nights, he sleeps when I leave the room. On not so good nights, he quietly opens the door, stands outside my study, and hides at the side of the door until I feel a set of eyes watching me from behind my back. On regular nights (at least for the last 2 months), he sleeps through for like 3-4 hours, leaves his bed and room, opens our door and climbs in hb and my bed. Some nights when I am too tired, I set aside space for him in our bed, on other nights when I feel less lethargic, I will walk him back to his room while berating him loudly in the wee hours of the morning.
Most days, he ends up crawling into our bed again when he hears the birds chirping…usually at daybreak.
I am certain most sleep experts have no problems picking up all the problems in this routine that we have. But I am feeling so tired of starting sleep training all over again that I think he will be getting away with this for now. Like how long can he go on wanting to sleep with us, by 7 or 8 years old? Oops…that's like another 4 more years to go…sigh…
We’ve been through that! I used to tell people that Mandy sleeps by herself not needing any patting or accompanying. She would kiss goodnight, say bye and walk into her room, lie on the bed. I close the door and that’s it! Then the boy came. I managed to train him to fall asleep by himself in the cot too. And both slept through at around 2 months old, boy a bit later.
But then came loud stormy nights/days(during naptimes), a long stretch of it… And then they fell sick…. prolonged sickness. To cut it short, they stopped sleeping through and started waking crying and asking for me. Then getting used to having me there. For a few months, I was running in and out of both kid’s rooms, up to 15 times a night. I ended up sleeping on the living room couch for 3 months! My back couldn’t take it. Then a visit to my uncle’s place changed everything. His 1 girl and 2 boys are 20, 18 and 13. The girl sleeps with the mum in one room and the boys with the dad in the other. They are perfectly good kids and the parents are people I look up to. They are extremely close as a family.
Now, Mandy sleeps in one room with me and Barry with hubby in the other. They are sleeping through again. Everybody’s much happier, less tired, the kids seem more secure and I definitely don’t feel stressed when night comes! I do hope they outgrow it in a few years time when we give them their own room though.
Some people will still go “Huh? Why don’t you let them sleep by themselves?”. But they don’t understand my situation and I say it’s not worth it trying to force the issue.
Amazing…how did u handle with up to 15x a nite. U are a very patient mom and your kids are very persistent. I will prob go berserk and start yelling at Kyle after the 5th time. I just have to learn to be more patient and go with the flow daily…there will always be some good days and bad days. Still dont think getting to sleep with hb and I is a good solution though, will allow the most twice a week. I need my sleep!
For my kids, they have been co-sleeping with either one of us since young… we don’t force them to sleep by themselves in their own rooms, although now they have one each. In fact Kai is ready to sleep by himself, it is hb who is not ready – so one of us still sleeps with him in his room. As for Xuan (who is already 8) – she is scared to sleep by herself because of her wild imagination and daily interactions with ghosts’ stories from friends and movies – so in the end she still sleeps with one of us in another room. It has been five years – we just let it be … when they are ready, they will be ready…
.-= Tin´s last blog ..Crying before school ritual =-.
Yeah…I should let nature take its course, really. But with all the sleepless nites whenever he sleeps with us that I would rather be less flexible about this and give myself more opportunities for good sleep! Last night he finally slept through again…without once coming into our room until 8am in the morning. Have to re trace the steps and see what I did right yesterday…haha…
hi Rach,
it is really adorable that kyle wants to sleep in your bedroom coz it just shows the strong bond that you have. i used to crawl into my parent’s bed as well, but only when my dad is gone coz my dad’s fierce those days. My hubby used to tell me that when he tried to crawl into his parent’s bed, his dad gave him such a strong lashing on the butt with the cane that he never wanted to do it again. I guess that is the shock tactic that is quite useful but i think parents these days are more tolerant than those before. i think i would not have the heart to even cane my child if i had one. right now my kitty sleeps on the bed with me and i love it!
Hope u are well dear!
Hey Sarah. Nice to hear from u
Take care and stay in touch dear..
I am still pretty strict on rules about bunking in with us. No no for school days…even if it means that he gets up a couple of times and come to our room…I always try to bring him back to his bed. It is usually the hb that caves in to his ‘manipulation’ haha. I don’t see u blogging anymore these days, u must b so busy with your shoe business. So glad to see that it is doing so well