Archives for August 2013

The Truth, the Truth

There are times that we are called to do the things that are unpopular, the difficult things that will shock people close to you, and may even have people walk away from you. But I know that it doesn’t matter how i feel, as I don’t live for the approval of men, but for the approval of God.

I am encouraged and very comforted that just this morning, that after a dear dear friend and sister from my fellowship group read what I put up on the last post about the 2 Mega-churches in Singapore, she dedicated this poem to me. She is a very talented poet and have been writing christian and personal poems since she is 7 years old.

This is the first time in my life that anyone has written a poem in response to what I have written on this blog, and for me, it is a confirmation that honesty needs to be shared, the truth has to be told.


The Truth, the Truth


Some say that truth is relative

Some say it’s opinion-based

Some say the truth is neutral

And walk around two-faced.


Some people talk the talk but don’t

Walk the walk in fact

They smile, disguised and tell you lies

And stab you in the back.


Some human beings listen not

To anything you say

They are like sheep, perpetually asleep

And wouldn’t have it another way.


Some families hide deep secrets, dark

And do not ever tell

They take those secrets to the grave

And some, right on to Hell.


Some men are born to rule the Earth

And others, born to serve

While others live to do great works

And others, to observe.


But there are those that meekly live

And humbly walk the sod

Whose hearts and minds are on one thing:

To do the will of God.


And it is them that tell the truth

And preach the truth in love

That trial and persecution know

But great favor from above.


For truth is truth and love is love

And they walk hand in hand

For only one that tells the truth

Really loves his fellow man.


A lie can be a deadly thing

Look at what lies have destroyed

For lies have been the greatest tools

The devil has employed.


And it’s through lies that he has gained

The place he has today

In hearts and minds and souls of men

They let him have his way.


But there is truth that blazes through

Those lies and half-truth tales

Deceptions, guile and greedy smiles

Hiding now behind dark veils.


So soon now, truth will have it’s way

And all lies will be gone

The King of Kings is coming here

And will the King of Lies, dethrone.


And all the people who loved the lies

Will fall shamefaced in the street

And all who love the truth will fall

Down at their Savior’s feet.


For He is Truth and He is Love

No matter what the lie or breach

And though we are not infallible

It’s His truth, we aim to teach.


By the Poet

Aug 29, 2013

9:44 p.m.


in honor of my friend, Rachel, and her courageous fight for Truth

Fight On, Sister!!!!

Screen Shot 2013 08 30 at 12 26 15 PMPicture from here


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This Thing we call Church in Singapore

‘Christianity will never be a friend of this world. Christianity holds out the only arm of salvation to this world, they will never be friends. Christianity will never crossover, but demands that the world crosses over to it’ – Paul Washer, The True Gospel.

Let me start by saying that there are many godly people who attend church. There are many who have discovered and accepted Christ in a church and there are plenty of positive things about attending church. I am trying to put down churches as a place to gather amongst Christians or a place to hear the word of God. In fact, I have learnt a while back (since I haven’t been attending church), that no one should assume that the other party is not following God’s truth or walking closely with God, if they don’t attend church. Each of us will need to be personally accountable for our own walk with God.

For Christians reading this: I am not a know-it-all in these matters. All I hope is to humbly share my insights with this post, anyone can agree or disagree with what I have mentioned in this post. But it will be pointless to argue as I do not want to invite any fruitless discussions about matters on doctrine.

However, I will be vulnerable and share that I have been keeping very quiet and have been feeling grieved on this issue for quite some time, and I know I will not feel peace if I don’t say it.

But one thing I request.

Really do take into consideration with the thoughts that I shared in this post, and if it brings up any doubt in your heart or Spirit. Do go direct to God and ask Him to reveal the truth to you, as we cannot be apathetic Christians.

If you are not a Christian, and it sounds all greek to you in the post, or if you think that I am a bigot, I can understand.


Mega-churches in Singapore

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Here I share my thoughts about this thing we call church in Singapore. Church, that is represented by the two biggest mega-churches in Singapore. What I am about to share is not going to sound good, and might get many criticized by many, likely, even offend some of you reading this, who are attending these churches mentioned here.

In regards to the 1st mega-church which is now under investigation by the authorities. I truly do not agree with what this church has done. Sure many will say that it is not my money, and ‘we gave willingly’, or that it’s non of my business or that I have no right to comment.

But, I will not call a pot white when it is black. My stance on this issue goes back to the quote I shared above, which supports the rationale why I feel that church’s focus behind this ministry is flawed. In other words, what the church did, goes against what Christians are called to do in the bible (kindly see the verses that I have linked to at the bottom of this post that speaks about what God has to say about being a carnal Christian).

The parties involved are not guilty unless the law convicts, but for a church, or for any church, the bible is the final authority that will guide their decisions, as well as their conduct of a church in this world, and with this world. I prefer not to focus on what the world thinks about it, as measured by standards of the world. For me, it matters what God thinks, or what the bible says.

This verse in Romans sums up what the bible has to say to this issue :

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. …Romans 12:1-21

I may not agree with what the church has done, but it doesn’t mean that I agree with many of the comments that are made from this Facebook page.

I question the purpose and the motives of many who frequent and comment on the page. There are hateful comments from people I hope are not Christians, since I can almost feel that they seem to be ‘gloating over the church’s misfortune’. Many sound thrilled to see the ‘drama’ unfolding, with the exodus of members from this church that have ‘fallen from grace’. While others think that the law is not doing a good enough job, and are keen to run their own investigation of the church.

Often, while reading the comments, I can almost picture these people at times grinning from ear to ear with their comments, “See I knew it, my church is the right one, definitely not this one.”

What the spectators of this ‘drama’, or the participants who are actively adding fuel to the fire don’t realize, is that it is not just that mega-church that is under the scrutiny of law with issues. Many churches have issues, as no church or leader of the church is infallible.


What’s the Truth?

Let me state this clearly first. This post is not written from a christian who has been spurned by any member of the church, or have harbored any past bitterness for any of the churches. In fact, the people whom I have come into contact with from both mega-churches has always been positive.

The only problem I have experienced is the inability to reconcile the actions of the 1st mega-church to the words in the bible. And I have experience the same for the 2nd mega-church, as I am not able to reconcile what is communicated from the sermons in church to the word of God.

It is up to you to conclude then, by the time you finish reading this post,  if there are indeed issues with these churches or simply it is just me with the problem.

For me, the bible has always been the inerrant word of God. So when it comes to determining the accuracy of what is communicated in through church sermons or messages, is to research the topic in questioned in the bible. There are bible tools online that can help you find topics that are mentioned in verses of the bible, in both the Old and New Testament books.

So in order to do an objective and exegesis study to analyze the meaning, one has to understand the verse in context of the whole chapter. If there is any further confusion about the topic, it is always best to use the concordances online to search the meaning of the word in Greek or Hebrew and try to understand the meaning of the word in the verse. If you are still experiencing confusion? The best method I recommend for a Christian is to bring that confusion to the Lord in prayer, and ask Him to reveal the truth to you.

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Not just sugar and spice and everything nice

Do you know that the true gospel actually offends?

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The true gospel convicts the world of sin, and of righteousness and of judgmental to come. You can go ahead and throw stones or LOL at those who are willing to go out on a limb to say, “Repent, for the kingdom of God is near, or God’s judgement is coming”, but that accurately depicts the truth in the gospel.

In fact, spending time reading the bible, I have said this to myself countless of times, “Oh no, did the bible really said that?”. I have learnt not to just take the good sounding parts and neglect the bad sounding ones, and know that I cannot positively confess, “I am under the new covenant, this do not apply to me!”

My journey leaving the 2nd Mega-church started when I felt that I needed to research what I have been taught in Church. I did countless research on the internet on the ‘Word of Faith’ doctrine, about the concept of being ‘Once saved always saved’, and the verses that promoted the concept of effortless Christianity in this church. I researched for days, weeks and months. I prayed for God to reveal to me to pull down the spiritual veil of what has been taught in the church and show me the truth, and what I found out made me sick to the stomach.

There were endless questions running through my mind and I questioned, “Why is the Jesus that I learnt from the bible not the same Jesus that I learnt from this church?”. Often, I questioned the sermons, checked the bible after every service, and I discovered, “The bible didn’t say that, why is that the Pastor didn’t say it, why did he left out that section, why is the full truth not told?” “Why only share the ‘bless me’ parts of the bible, and then say that we can ask for what you desire?” “But what about the will of God, our repentance, our obedience to God, our sanctification?”

Then this words came to me:

Did you find me? Did you seek Me?

Did you call out to Me?

Did you humble yourself and become my servant, not just my child?

Did you truly surrendered your life to me? Are you willing to trade your life and desires for this world, for me in eternity?

Are you willing to follow Me, no matter what? Are you my disciple? Can you say that I AM YOUR LIFE, if you are a Christian?

Find Me while there is still time.

The answers I had to those questions were lame “Maybe sometimes”, and “No” to the rest. I realized that I have just been a spectator the whole time, but never been really a true disciple, a true child of God.

Then I found these verses in the bible :

“Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it.Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it.” – Matthew 7:13-14

And I was shocked by these other verses I found :

Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heavenMany will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’ – Matthew 7:21-23

I was far from being able to do what was listed out in the verses, and was absolutely sure that my Christian walk at that point in time definitely did not do the will of God. The church didn’t say that there was a need to do that. And I wonder how much this verse applied to me, since I am far from being willing to follow the will of God, was taught to believe that law didn’t apply to us anymore, as we are now in the new covenant.

I questioned if I have really truly received Christ in my life, as I was not sure anymore that I had.

Subsequently, I found this verse that the Holy Spirit’s job is to convict the world of sin, and of righteousness and of judgement to come (John 16:8-11). Have I been truly convicted? If I haven’t been convicted means that the Holy Spirit is not in me! So I have been speaking gibberish in tongues the whole time. I needed to be sure, very sure that I was convicted and needed more than just changing my mind about my sin, but truly go on my knees to God and humbly repent.

In order to make Christ my life, the bible said that conviction and repentance is part of the process. Conviction and condemnation are two different things as you can do all without the chest beating and flogging. And there is nothing wrong even if you go on your knees, be humbly repentant when you pray, as God never turns away a repentant,  broken and contrite heart (Psalm 51:17).

I also found out that being a Christian in these last 5 years is so darn hard. Do I just give up and assume that I am fine and dandy just because I am saved. No…I am still going to try to be that obedient child who will follow the will of God. Even Paul the apostle said it himself that it is hard (2 Corinthians 4:7-12). I needed to hate my sin, loathe my carnality, to be truly be thankful for God’s remedy: the death, the burial and the resurrection of His Son, Jesus Christ.

So for this 2nd Mega-church who preaches effortless Christianity, and for those of you reading this attending this church. The truth is that this church has been just serving you the good bits, and have left out all the tough bits of being a Christian. What is not given in the full truth is a lie.

I have never under-mined the grace of God as it has always been a fundamental message of the gospel. But grace with a dash of carnal christianity or the never-ending promotion of effortless christianity? These concepts are akin to feeding a child with 5 spoonfuls of sugar, and top it with sickly sweet candy to make the bitter medicine go down.

Truth with some amount of leaven mixed in is still a lie, and there is no compromise for that. At that point before I left the church, I was not confident that I will be able to chew the meat and successfully spit out the bones from every sermon, as I was concerned that my mind will eventually be changed to be bought into the lie.

I did not want to think so highly of my human carnality either, neither was strong enough or knew the bible enough at that point to take this risk. I was certain that I will continue taking in the lies, sermon after sermon, if I stayed at this mega-church.

I decided that I cannot be apathetic and risk my soul in peril. So I left the church and never looked back.


The Message has to be right, since the church is growing so fast!

So then I am trying to imply that everyone attending these churches are shamelessly sinning? Did I say that? With a sincere heart, I can truthfully tell you that I do not condemn or judge people who attend these churches, but rather, I was there before, where you are now. I know how it feels like, I will feel offended, indignant and defensive towards anyone who questions my beliefs.

Again I reiterate, it is not you that I have an issue with. I have an issue with the gospel message that is not preached in truth, and pastors who are not shepherding the flock down the right path.

Or did I cheapen grace, obviously not. Law and grace both has its place in the gospel message, one cannot do without the other.

Then many will ask, if this church is not preaching the right message or doing right, why is the church growing? Beats me. But we can’t only use our human logic to relate; that this church has to be good, that’s why it is growing exponentially. They are many house churches, that we are not aware of, that preach the true gospel, but still remain small and insignificant. Do you really think God uses the world’s ways to measure success in His eyes?

Often, God’s ways are not our ways, so it is good not to assume that we know all the answers to how the Kingdom of God works.

But I do know the fact that church growth has always been a key focus for big churches, the bigger the congregation, the more money the church will need to sustain the full time staff, premises and facilities. Some pastors choose not preach the unpopular parts, the not-so-good-sounding parts of the gospel, in the fear that people will not faithfully return and God forbid, don’t want to tithe!

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If church growth is the focus of many of these churches, the gospel message needs to sound good and palatable, so people will come back to listen. Even better become members, so that they will make a commitment to tithe 10% of their income monthly. So by tithing to these churches, are we still focused on furthering the kingdom of God, to give to charity, help the poor or the marginalized, or are we just furthering the Kingdom of the Pastor and church?

I used to think I gave to the church as I trusted Pastors to be good stewards of the tithes, and I am giving to God for the furtherance of God’s kingdom, but these days, I am not sure anymore.


Fellowship is not limited to churches

Could the solution be going to small churches or an informal ‘church’ that consists of a small gathering of believers? Maybe, that may be more effective for some people.

There is no command in the bible that says that a believer in Christ must attend a church building in order to worship God. Christians can worship God by our obedience to Him in every day or our lives in every area in our life. That’s true worship. And not neglect reading the bible and praying daily, that will be how God can speak to you!

Indeed we are told to gather together in His name. But fellowship is not limited to geography or location. I have fellowship online with a group of like-minded Christians who are located internationally, where we are able to edify and pray for one another daily, I am closer to them than to any fellowship that I have joined in the past!

I can now say that I have truly found God. And it has been an amazing journey since, that is getting more amazing by the day, better than what any Pastor has said of the Christian life, from that 6 churches that I have been part of for the last 13 years.

And what I abide daily is,

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. – Deuteronomy  6:5-7

And He has constantly overwhelmed and bowled me over with His love, even before I have come to know and love Him, time after time, love that is beyond any love that I have experienced or come to know in this world.

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In my parting note of this post, do have a quick look at this video from Paul Washer. Many Christians and non Christians dislike Paul Washer, as he tends to deliver some hard hitting truths that don’t sound good at all. You would either hate him or will find his message convicting.

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Here are some verses on what the Bible has to say about carnal Christianity, all in the New Testament, which sums my stance in this post :

1. We are not to love the world or the things in it – I John 2:15-17

2. Friendship with this world separates us from God – James 4:4

3. We do not conform our lives to the ways of the world – Romans 12:2

P.S : I do appreciate the thought and the concern that some of you have in regards to my last post, sincerely hoping that I will find a church one day that will suit my needs. Maybe someday, it will be His will and not mine, and it will be a fellowship and not a church!  Don’t get it wrong, I am not vehemently against churches, just that I don’t wish to deal with the imperfections from Churches and their half-truths at this point of my life. And I don’t subscribe to the belief that I will eventually find peace when I find the right church. I have learnt to be perfectly content at the state I am in, and my joy and peace will always be in the Lord, not in a church or a fellowship.


Update Sept 2014 – I have since found a local church and have been regularly attending weekly and appreciating the fellowship of the small congregation from this new church. To read about my journey searching for a church, go to this post.

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So I don’t want to go to Church anymore

My faith has always been a key part of my life, but in recent years, I have stopped being a conventional Christian.

Since June 2013, I have decided that I don’t want to attend Church anymore. After leaving a mega-church in 2007, attending 4 other churches between the periods of 2007-2013, and then deciding I had enough of playing church and will exit churchanity.

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This is a controversial issue and I have been keeping silent about it for some time, but I have decided to share my experience and explain my stance on this decision, as I hope not to be misunderstood by friends around me who are Christians.

Beginning of 2007, things begin to change for me. I started searching the bible, and I realized that what I was hearing in this certain mega-church I was attending was getting stale. It was always the grace message, repeated over and over like a broken recorder, and I came to a point that the message that was preached in church did not explain the countless questions that I had. Was Christianity really like what the pastor said? “God only wants to bless you…trust that you have a God that want to give your good things, ask and you will receive, seek and you will find, you will reign in life like Christ Jesus…”

Obviously I was far from reigning in life, with the countless challenges that I encountered in life, the church, the fellow church friends couldn’t answer why I still faced challenges and difficulties that never seemed to ceased. I really didn’t feel like that champion Christian that the pastor preached about in his sermons and started questioning whether it was my faith that undermined the hope that God will answer my prayers.

I started searching the bible, when I realized that no one could answer the questions that I had. The final push out of the mega-church church was when I realized that what the pastor was preaching was contrary to what I found out from the bible and I could not understand why the congregation were exclaiming loud ‘Amens’ to the things that the pastor spoke. The teaching was making them comfortable to sin, about how we are all forgiven for our past, present and future sin, for us not to be worried about our sins, because we are righteous people because of Jesus. And then how we are to positively confess daily that “We are the righteousness of God in Christ” and not look or worry about our sin. That sermon, and many other sermons of the same grain after that made me uncomfortable, and searching through the bible the last couple of months confirmed what I heard to be contrary to what the bible says about sin. I asked myself, “How about being obedient to God, following the will of God? Why doesn’t the pastor ever mention that at all?” or “It is really all about me, my needs and what God can do for me?”

After that season, I convinced hb that I wanted to change church. Hb had no problems with the sermons at all, and more so the church, since we have been attending the past 7-8 years and had many friends there. But we move on, to 4 other churches in the next 6 years but never felt ‘at home’ anywhere. So I finally decided after 6 years that I don’t want to go to church anymore.

It has been difficult coming out of institutionalized church, especially with the initial guilt that I felt, and the perceived lack of fellowship with other Christians. It has been an understanding amongst many christian church-goers, that the more you don’t attend church, the more you will wander from the ‘right’ path. This is a lie. I know it as instead of being further away from the ‘right path’, I have learnt to depend on the inerrant truth in the bible, depend on Jesus fully to lead me on the path He wants me to go, let God speak and confirm through the Holy Spirit through what I read directly from the bible daily, and not to depend on doctrines taught by a man or pastor.

It has been hard finding Christians in Singapore going through the same circumstances, but I thank God for the fellowship of other Christians internationally that I have found through the internet that have been experiencing the same thing. This article that I read during the weekends really spoke to me; No fellowship, no problem!

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So, in whatever journey, even in the ‘wilderness alone’ we have been called to undertake in our spiritual walk, I am sure there will be a purpose in it all.

On a separate note, I will likely be continuing sharing my thoughts about ‘This thing we call Church in Singapore’ in the next post.


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