Solo-Parenting a 7 year old Boy

I have to admit that when I found out I was having a little boy, it was with a mixed bag of emotions. I would very much like to say that I was moved by the miracle of life and cried happy tears when my child was placed in my arms.

But the very first thing I said to my hb when I saw K was, “Why does he look like that?”

Well, this shallow mom have repented since.

Lately with the recent adjustments at home, I have been reflecting about my part of being one-half of a parent to K. I used to think that the relationship between same-sexed parents and children; i.e.. mother-daughter or father-son, are extra special. However, I found out that the relationship that forms the child, are the mother-son, father-daughter relationships.

I am not just saying this since I have a son, nor do I want to downplay the importance that Dads have on their son being role models. But this combination it seems, is the ideal parent-child combination for single parents.

I may not fit into a profile of a single parent, since hb and I are still happily married. Nonetheless, the solo-parent status applies to my parenting life right now.

I asked K this question recently, “Do you think you have a brave-heart?”

His response to me was, “No, I have a chicken-heart, as I cry easily when I feel hurt and I am sometimes afraid of insects.” Hb used to say that K was being ‘chicken-hearted’ when he got too sensitive, or don’t show enough courage for challenges that he encounters.

My reply to him was, “Not chicken-hearted. You have a tender heart, that can be brave and courageous as God is with you.”

I believe I still can be the parent who will let him understand what I see and admire most in men. Build his confidence, demonstrate that actions have consequences, help him gain a tender heart, and teach him how to love God with all his heart.

7 year old 1

I am K’s mom, I am not his dad. And I will never expect to be both, as I think I will fail quite miserably.

My focus as K’s mom is to build a heart connection with him, and will never try to be the dad that I can never be.

I guess I am still in a good place when it comes to being a parent. Even if I means that I am the one who has to pick up dead lizards and get rid of any insect that find their way into our room.

Felt Bunny Softie 1

P.S. When K was a baby, I used to be so envious of people who were able to make beautiful quilted blankets for their babies. I still haven’t got around making a blanket for K, since he doesn’t have a need for one anymore.

I have found the next best alternative; softies. This isn’t the first softie that I have made for him, as he still has the wonky-looking cat softies I made for him 3 years ago. But it is the first personalized softie complete with glasses and his first name initial.

Just one of the many reasons why I love to do hand-mades, as this will be the only softie bunny uniquely like this one.

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  1. I agree. There is something mighty special about a mother-son relationship! K is such a fine young man, and it is so good you are teaching him that having a tender heart doesn’t equate to weakness or being a chicken! Jia you in this season of your lives!

    P.S. Love that bunny!
    San´s last blog post ..The One Pot Pasta

    Rachel Reply:

    Thanks San!

  2. Making the heart connection is so important in parenting – regardless solo or otherwise. Your personalised softie is truly one-of-a-kind, I wish I have the patience and nimble fingers to make such lovely keepsakes for my loved ones too. Keep up the good work Momma!
    Angie.S´s last blog post ..I Theatre Presents Round the Moon, Blue the Sky

    Rachel Reply:

    Thanks Angie!

  3. As you have mentioned to K, you are not alone. Emmanuel. God is with you. May God bless you with strength and grace to journey on ahead. Admire your handiworks! I can’t sew for nuts… : )
    Angelia´s last blog post ..Come Clay with Me! (Series 4)

    Rachel Reply:

    Thanks Angelia, it is precisely why I know God is with me, that’s why I don’t fear of the uncertainty of the future. As for sewing, you should give some simple projects to try if you feel motivated enough. I used to think the same too, before I started trying to sew.

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