Category: Experiences

The problem with pain

I have been thinking alot about my journey of life the past couple of weeks.

Life for me, is categorised into the different feelings that I experienced through this journey thus far. The joyful moments, the triumphant moments and the poignant moments. There are probably many other feelings in between, but it is kind of hard to express all of it in words.

I have recorded so much of the joyful and triumphant moments.in this blog, alot of it revolving around my role as a mother, but how about the poignant moments? I used to not want to talk about it at all in my blog, as I felt that all I want to remember the happy and memorable memories, and not the poignant ones. It is so typical of me to go through life in the hectic-ness of, to brush away poignant feelings, thinking that it is not worth remembering…and to say to myself "move along, nothing to look at."

The poignant state that I am in at this point in my life seems to be hovering in a state of suspension.

Is pain really a necessity in our lives? Unfortunately it is. Why? Only with pain can we realise how wretched we are, and how we can't go through life alone. I can't put it as aptly as C.S Lewis on why pain is necessary in our lives.

From The Problem of Pain, by C.S. Lewis :

"If the first and lowest operation of pain shatters the illusion that all is well, the second shatters the illusion that what we have, whether good or bad in itself, is our own and enough for us.  Everyone has noticed how hard it is to turn our thoughts to God when everything is going well with us.   We 'have all we want' is a terrible saying when 'all' does not include God.  We find God an interruption.  As St Augustine says somewhere, 'God wants to give us something, but cannot, because our hands are full – there's nowhere for Him to put it.'  Or as a friend of mine said, 'We regard God as an airman regards his parachute;  it's there for emergencies but he hopes he'll never have to use it.'  Now God, who has made us, knows what we are and that our happiness lies in Him.  Yet we will not seek it in Him as long as He leaves us any other resort where it can even plausibly be looked for.  While what we call 'our own life' remains agreeable we will not surrender it to Him.  What then can God do in our interests but make 'our own life' less agreeable to us, and take away the plausible source of false happiness?  It is just here, where God's providence seems at first to be most cruel, that the Divine humility, the stooping down from the Highest, most deserves praise.  We are perplexed to see misfortune falling upon decent, inoffensive, worthy people – on capable, hard-working mothers of families or diligent, thrifty little tradespeople, on those who have worked so hard, and so honestly, for their modest stock of happiness and now seem to be entering on the enjoyment of it with the fullest right."

"Let me implore the reader to try to believe, if only for the moment, that God, who made these deserving people, may really be right when He thinks that their modest prosperity and the happiness of their children are not enough to make them blessed:  that all this must fall from them in the end, and that if they have not learned to know Him they will be wretched.  And therefore He troubles them, warning them in advance of an insufficiency that one day they will have to discover.  The life to themselves and their families stands between them and the recognition of their need; He makes that life less sweet to them.  I call this a Divine humility because it is a poor thing to strike our colours to God when the ship is going down under us; a poor thing to come to Him as a last resort, to offer up 'our own' when it is no longer worth keeping.  If God were proud He would hardly have us on such terms:  but He is not proud, He stoops to conquer, He will have us even though we have shown that we prefer everything else to Him, and come to Him because there is 'nothing better' now to be had.  The same humility is shown by all those Divine appeals to our fears which trouble high-minded readers of Scripture.  It is hardly complimentary to God that we should choose Him as an alternative to Hell:  yet even this He accepts.  The creature's illusion of self-sufficiency must, for the creature's sake, be shattered; and by trouble or fear of trouble on earth, by crude fear of the eternal flames, God shatters it 'unmindful of His glory's diminution'."

No Comments by Rachel on February 6, 2012
filed in Christianity, Experiences
tagged ,

A ship, water and loads of ice cream

We took a short cruise to Malaysia the last 2 days and it was tremendous fun for the boy.Apart from the thrill of a stayover on a cruise ship, he had fun with the activities on board the ship, enjoyed ice cream during late hours in the night and was able to stay up late for both nights.

It was a kind of a finale to the end of the school holidays for him, since school is commencing in less then a week. For hb and I, we appreciated the family time we spent together.

No Comments by Rachel on December 30, 2011
filed in Experiences, Family

Another first

Time is passing unbelievably fast. We are into the last 3 weeks of the school holidays and last weeks of 2011. I can hardly believe that we are going into 2012 in less than 3 weeks, and Kyle will be going into K1.

If I had a choice, I wish that my child don't grow up so fast. He is slowly losing his cherubic babyish looks, he lost his baby-smells many months back and is too quickly growing into an often sweaty and not so nice-smelling mischievous boy :(  

He still has his endearing personality, when I told him that I hope that he will not grow up so quickly, he said; 

"Mommy, I tell you something"

"I tell you what. I grow taller but I don't grow older ok, I will still be 4 years old for my next birthday…"

Aww…actually I would prefer that he doesn't grow taller or older, and will always remain my little baby boy.

I think he still can't wait to grow up quickly. He is always asking when he will be able to sit all the rides at Universal Studios, grow taller and stronger so he can hit golf balls much further.

We brought him to the driving range for the first time recently, and he is really enjoying the game and turning out to be quite a natural at the sport. I think his interest for golf plays a huge role in his quick progress in learning how to play golf.

http://www.vimeo.com/33489042

After all of 90 balls and a little blister on his finger (after hitting too many balls and gripping the club a little too hard), he is looking all sweaty, rosy-cheeked and happy from his first experience at the range.

1 Comment by Rachel on December 12, 2011
filed in Experiences, Growing up, Kyle's World
tagged ,

The Ringbearer

He was terrible during the rehearsals.

Refused to walk down the aisle quoting that he was feeling 'moody' that day. Then when he decided to participate in the rehearsal for the bridal party down the aisle, he deliberately walked so slowly and then ran down the aisle, leaving poor Janae the flower girl behind.

Hb and I had to give him a good talking-to after that.

When he realised that he had a really important job; leading the bridal party and passing the rings to the Pastor, he decided to be compliant and follow through, despite having high fever the night before and then nursing a slight fever through the late morning.

Still clowning in front of the camera despite the fever (with flower girl Janae, BIL's niece)

 

Holding on to the ring pillow

 

Leading the bridal party and getting ready for their entrance

 

Ready to roll…

http://www.vimeo.com/32387579

 

Some moments before the walk in;

With Grandpa and Grandma

 

With Nana and Granddad

 

Grandad with the flowergirl and ringbearer

 

Then, during the solemnisation…

 

The ringbearer got really bored and decided to fiddle around with the DSLR,

Striking plenty of poses for his friend Alex, who took his photos

 

Then when it was his turn to use the DLSR…

He took these photos of hb and I, and Alex

 

The ringbearer had a great time at the wedding despite his fever spiking to 39.1 degrees moments before we left for home.

It has been a taxing day for hb and I, not that we had alot to do for the wedding. But rather, we had to ensure his temperature was kept under control and that he got his rest in between the day wedding and the evening dinner.

Doing his 'yam sengs' at the wedding dinner

 

His fever spiked to 39.2 degrees celsius during the tail end of the dinner, hb and I even resorted to using a table napkin soaked in ice cold water to keep his temperature down. He was still really active throughout, so we left early and lethargy only set in when we were in the car on our way home.

The fever did not return last night, thank God for His healing hands on Kyle. He seems to have battled the flu bug and is on his way to recovery this morning.

2 Comments by Rachel on November 20, 2011
filed in Experiences, Family, Occasion

Dinosaurs Live and The Science Centre

'Dinosaurs Live!' Exhibition @ Science Centre

For a 'dino-phile' like Kyle, any dinosaurs exhibition/show is a must-see for him, so we took this chance to visit the science centre on Monday, since it was a post-concert school holiday for him. This exhibition reminded me alot of the Hollywood Dinos experience in Jurong Bird Park which we attended in January 2010, as both exhibitions featured live-sized exhibits that were able to move and 'growl'. 

The lights in the exhibition area were dim with large 'real-sized' dinosaurs, coupled with realistic sound effects that were enough to scare a 4 year old when he approached the T-Rex exhibit. While I was slightly distracted by the strong resin scents of pvc and plastic, most likely the materials used to make the dinosaur exhibits. Would have been better if the organisers used some forest/jungle scented air fresheners to mask the plasticky-scents to complete the whole sight, sound and scent experience for visitors.

Included in this exhibition is a Dig Pit, where kids below 10 can search for dinosaur fossils by digging through the sand pit, which was just about the best hands-on interactive activity for kids throughout the exhibition. Kids can also go around the tables in front of the exhibits to get their 'dinosaur passport' stamped, as they match and identify the exhibits with the ones featured in their booklets (The 'dinosaur passport' cost an additional $3 to purchase, by the way). The colour, etch and draw kiosks that were located towards the exhibition were not too intriguing for a pre-schooler.

Overall, I think Kyle will gladly give this exhibition an 8/10. I think it is a good effort by Singapore Science Centre, considering the affordable admission fees, which included the entrance fee to the other exhibits of Science Centre and an IMAX movie at Omni Theatre.

The Science Centre, Dinosaurs Live Exhibition & 40 Minutes Imax Movie  $30 Adult $22 Child (3-12 years of age)

Dinosaurs Live Exhibition 21 October 2011 – 26 February 2012 Science Centre, The Annexe

As for the rest of the Science Centre experience, considering the rough handling of the exhibits amongst the throngs of primary school children who visit the place in bus loads, the exhibits are in rather poor condition and in desperate need of some overhaul. But seriously, I can't complain when admission fees are only at $9.00 Adult, $5.00 for a child.

The Science Centre is still a good place to go nonetheless, when…

you have a pre-schooler that has octopus hands and love to fiddle with things,

(No need to worry about the 'see no touch' policy, as the policy in the Science Centre is you will need to touch or press a button to see how it works)

it is the school holidays, and you can't think of any other place to bring a preschooler on a dull and quiet afternoon,

Or the neighbours are having their renovations and the drilling and knocking noises are driving both you and your kid batty. And there is no way any one can get his afternoon nap (helps if you don't live in the east of Singapore)

So that gives us lots of reasons why we think we will be sure to come back soon for another visit.

1 Comment by Rachel on October 25, 2011
filed in Experiences, Kyle's World

Some of our favorite things

I realised this when converting my photos this morning; that I have not been taking photos of Kyle consistently for the last couple of months. It used to be that there will be new pictures at least every few days, and I realised that I have been a rather slack when it comes to taking photos for the last 6 months.

One of the best thing about this blog when I look back at my old posts have to be the past photos that I have taken of Kyle and the family. So this really reminds me that moving forward, I really need to be consistent in taking more photos, at least on a weekly basis. As Kyle is really growing up too fast before my eyes, and soon (sob sob) he will be out of his preschool years :(

We got to enjoy a couple of our favorite things this afternoon; sushi and sashimi for lunch! Kyle simply loves Tamago sushi and Chawanmushi, while I am a fan of Unagi Sushi and Sashimi. I would usually go for the cheaper option of Chirashi sushi don, which is bits of sashimi on top of a bed of sushi rice. Well, Japanese food is one of Kyle's and my favorite cuisine, not for hb though. But he is always a sweet and accomodating dad and hb to often go with what we feel like eating. I think these days, eating out is really expensive in Singapore. We had our lunch at Akashi at Orchard Hotel, and it cost us almost $90.00 for a 4 Tamago, 2 unagi sushi, a tini box of Chirashi Don and a Tonkatsu Pork cutlet set for hb! Overall, the Akashi experience is slighly overpriced for the so-so quality of Japanese cuisine that is equivalent to some of the other Japanese sushi chains. Have to eat out less often and improve on my cooking skills!

We went on to another of our favorite things to do as a family; foot massage!

Kyle is this foot massage junkie that loves getting a foot rub. Every night before he goes to bed, he will ask me for a couple of seconds of foot and back massage!

For an active child like Kyle, it is quite a feat for him to be able to stay still for 30 minutes while the therapist gives him a foot massage. For the next 1 hour, while waiting for hb and I to finish our massages, Kyle was quietly playing with his matchbox cars on the chair.

It was only after when I walked to the reception area that the receptionist told me that a certain caucasian lady who was seated on the left side of hb's chair complained about the noise that Kyle made. Kyle in fact was really quiet and compliant while waiting for us to finish our massage, he crashed his matchbox chairs together for less than 5 minutes, then when I told him to stop, he quietly played with his cars on his chair for the next half an hour.

Our post foot massage experience was shortlived when we heard about this other customer and her complaint. She was so irate to the point that she took the email addresses of the prioperter of this foot massage chain of shops to complain about her less than satisfactory experience here. Just too bad I did not get to hear about it from her and meet her, I would definitely not stay silent on this.

First of all, this massage premises have an open concept where chairs are laid side by side with only a wooden divider that can be used in between the chairs, so it is inevitable to hear noises from other patrons. In fact, each time when we visit their premises, we will always hear a patron who will be fast asleep in his/her chair, snoring really loudly and consistently throughout the next 30-60 minutes! Morever, there is no rule that children are no allowed in their premises, especially since Kyle was a patron in this instance. Also if she wanted exclusivity, she should have paid for a 'personalised and behind close doors' foot massage service and not a foot massage that cost $29 per half an hour, with patrons seated next to one another.

It is people like that, who give expatriates a bad name. The expectations that they have for that little amount of money that they spend are not reasonable. And besides, this really demonstrates a low tolerance of assimilating in another's culture. We learn to be tolerant and gracious of one another and noise in an open concept like this. If she demands total silence and peace, she should jolly well pay for that! I have to say this, what a cheap ang moh she is!

Arrgghh…this is just one of those days that a seemingly relaxed and quiet weekend afternoon is spoilt. Just had to rant a little in this space…

1 Comment by Rachel on October 22, 2011
filed in Experiences, Family

Let Praises Fill this Place 让赞美飞扬

For the last two weeks, hb and I have been trying to get Kyle to perform his concert item at home, but he has never revealed his dance steps for his performance. His response to us each time we asked has been, "It's a surprise, cannot show you, You will see on the concert night." I am actually rather impressed by his resolve to keep this performance under wraps, especially when it comes to his usual ability to keep secrets :S

Let Praises Fill This Place 让赞美飞扬 was the title of the song that was used for Kyle's school performance this year. Last year, the theme was tied to the story of "The Caterpillar and the Shoemaker', so all the performance items followed the storyline. This year it was rather disjointed with non-related performances.

The theme for this year's concert was conceived after some of his kindergarten's teacher and staff had the opportunity to experience an exchange programme with two preschools in Cebu Philippines. They shared skills and knowledge teaching young children and were able to be an instrument of peace and blessing to the less fortunate. Despite the disjointed performances, this year's theme for Kyle's school concert was still very meaningful as it was a night of 'rejoicing and celebration' (from the words of the programme outline)…

'of the achievement of the children's development milestones, though songs and dance using musical instruments, may our hearts be encouraged to persevere in doing what is right. Let us draw strength from God, who is our Source of hope, to put others before ourselves, and recognise that we can be instruments to channel love and hope to others!'

"Arise! Shine! For your light arrives! The splendor of the Lord shines on you!" Isaiah 60:1'

Coincidentally, I  chanced upon the same verse while doing my BSF studies of the book of Isaiah about 2 weeks ago, and I thought the verse really reminded me of Kyle's school.

This year's costume was a little more 'Chingay-liked', nonetheless, the kids in his class all looked adorable in their costumes, finished with gel and glitter in their hair. With the exception of one of the older group of kids who were decked out in pvc-liked black and red mid-driff tops with a black 'tie', complete with a silver chain tied to their black bermudas. I would have cringed if Kyle had to wear that costume, as it came across very s&m and cheena styled.

Here's a slight shaky video for the performance, Kyle is the third child from the right.

No Comments by Rachel on October 21, 2011
filed in Experiences, Kyle's World, Preschool

Illustration Wednesday – Sleep

We sat on the couch for like almost half an hour, staring into space.

His face still streaked from the hot tears that fell from his eyes, having woken up from the nightmare he had a moment before.

Scenes from a dream that were still vivid and fresh in his mind, I see in his eyes the fear that gripped him.

It has been like that for the past 6 days, the same nightmare, the same cast of characters in his dreams.

All he can tell me is, "Instruments, playing themselves in our hall, very very loudly."

I consoled and comforted him, explained the confusion he was experiencing, between dream and reality.

Praying silently that the nightmares will plague me instead…

 

That's how life for me has been the past one week. The boy and I haven't been getting much of a restful sleep, he gets waken by the recurring nightmare, while I am such a light sleeper these days, that any noise around the house easily rouses me from my sleep.

Getting short naps in the afternoon is a luxury, as he hardly sleeps more than an hour these days, while I hardly fall into deep sleep.

Feeling tired, really tired…knowing that this is only momentary, but really feels like forever when I am in it.

So, excuse me while I illustrate what I badly need now; curled comfortably on my couch, alone in my hall, enjoying the peace and quiet of slumber without any delirious instruments wildly playing in the background.

1 Comment by Rachel on October 5, 2011
filed in Experiences, Illustration

We are learning Art!

Most of us are used to the idea that we need to attend lessons to pick up a skill. Maybe it's in our culture or a mindset, that we can only learn from an expert or someone who is trained formally in that skill.

Ever since I became a full time mom, the mindset has changed and I have proven to myself that it is possible to pick up a skill without formalised lessons. I have taught myself cooking and sewing all through recipes and the sewing tutorials available from the internet.

This time, I am taking on another challenge. Teaching Kyle art, while also learning art at the same time. I took art for my O levels, but had very little interest in Still Art, which to me, was the dullest technique that I have learnt through through an art education. Maybe I am just bias towards classical art, or simply have little interest towards it.

It would have been a totally different story, if I read children art books from Laurence Anholt, Katie Series of books from James Mayhew; exploring artists from the Italian Renaissance to Post-Impressionism. Classic art appreciation did not quite happen for me until I became a young adult. Even till today, my preference for art strays far away from classical art, looking at my choice of art prints around the house.

To get our art journey started. I got a couple of children's books with the theme of encouraging creativity in art.

Top L-R  The Dot by Peter H. Reynolds, Ish by Peter H. Reynolds, The Art Lesson by Tomie dePaola, The Pencil by Allan Ahlberg, Not a Box by Antoinette Portis and Lines that Wriggle by Candace Whitman

 

Art is really all about the process and not the product. But it is hard to get a 4 year old to understand it. Kyle has been doing alot of open ended art with different mediums since turning 18 months old, but he has always been not too enthusiastic about the product he creates. So to help build his confidence and fan the interest towards arts, I went with a different strategy to get him to enourage his exploration of art.

He created these pieces with little encouragement needed and willingly sat through 2 full hours of drawing and colouring! It really amazes me how interest can encourage his attention span towards the activity.

The technique I used was to scaffold the learning, breaking up the shapes and the details of the picture step by step. This way, it makes it easy for him to follow and adapt his own preferences into the picture.

Since we have started on this method, he has been asking to draw every evening, and have asked to do more art activities. So I think it's time to re-introduce new open ended art experiences :) , before embarking on some classical art exposure. From there, with the exposure, it will help to develop his preferences for art in general.

 

As for my art experiences so far, my preferences lean towards illustration. I have been squeezing whatever time I can find to doodle and colour into my sketch book. Learning slowly from japanese doodle illustration books, a doodle at a time.

2 Comments by Rachel on September 5, 2011
filed in Education, Experiences
tagged , , ,

I want to a sportsman when I grow up

With a father that loves golf, and a granddad that enjoys tennis, it seems rather natural that an active and energetic child like Kyle will have a natural inclination towards sports.

I have toyed with the idea of sending him to speech and drama, since he is quite a drama king. And even art classes, as he has been asking for it. However, we have a limited enrichment budget and since I don't plan to over-schedule activities in a week for him, hb and I have decided on swimming and golf lessons. It seems quite common to send a child for formalised lessons as young as 2, but I have delayed lessons till this year, as I think that it is important that he shows interest, has the attention span and is able to follow instructions.

He enjoys swimming tremendously, and he is doing well in lessons with group instruction. He just had his first test from the swimming school, and despite the crowd of children having the tests the same day, he was game to go through it.

 

As for golf, we have justed started lessons last week and he is having loads of fun. He was able to tell me that his teacher taught him 'putting' and 'chipping' and even loudly exclaimed during his lessons to his coach, "Why I am only learning half swing?", when the rest of his other two classmates who joined earlier were doing full swings. No rush, my dear boy…one step at a time!

 

I have read this article that claims that it is too soon to think of sports for a 4 year old. I will agree with some of the points that the article mentioned, but I think physical and mental skills development required to learn a sport varies from child to child. Also since most sports require learning or playing in a group, the child needs to be ready to 'perform' in front of people. Looking at how outgoing and 'showy' Kyle can be at times, facing that pressure to 'perform' in a group/crowd does not seem to be a problem, in fact I always find that he needs to be reminded often to tone down his boisterousness.

Learning sports have been advantageous for us so far, as it has been effective to wear out his energy. Often he is like this 'energiser bunny' with the energy that never seems to tire out. On top of that, his appetite seems to have improved, and mealtimes are less of a chore :)

 

These days, he tells me that he wants to be a sportsman when he grows up, "To be a sportsman, I don't need to go to school and study right?"

Nice try, my little sporty guy.

1 Comment by Rachel on September 4, 2011
filed in Experiences, Growing up, Kyle's World
tagged , ,

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