A Walk of Gratitude down Katong Road

There are certain places that we go to that will bring back memories, and often we don’t have to travel very far.

Just early this afternoon, despite a sweltering hot day, I took the opportunity to park the car at 112 Katong, to take a stroll to Katong Shopping Centre to visit the Optometrist, then walk back to 112 Katong. This short walk evoked plenty of memories and feelings.

It brought back memories just barely 4.5 years ago when I was a regular in this neighbourhood and used to take Photo-walks. Katong have gone through some changes in that short 4.5 years.

In April 2013 the tired looking Red House Bakery was undergoing major refurbishment…

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Now, it seems to have been restored its former glory,

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The glimpse I had of the shophouses from the overhead bridge of Roxy Square in 2013 were deserted, looking dreary and old..

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Now, these shophouses have been given a new lease of life and likely are occupied by new tenants;

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Seeing these changes take took place these 4.5 years, is very much like a metaphor to how things have changed for me since the day that I took those photos in April 2013. My state in life in 2013 was rather similar to these old and tired buildings.

Taking this walk down Katong Road, I found my heart bursting with gratitude to God, as I knew that I have so much to be grateful to the Lord for. Life today is drastically different from my life in 2013 or anything before 2015 for that matter.

Life then in 2013 was a struggle, our family have sold our first home the year before and had to stay in alternative arrangements, which we had to call home for that season. It was hard to lose most of what we own. In retrospect, we needed to experience losing almost all that we own, to come to a point of trusting God wholeheartedly, and letting Him fully take over our lives and our will.

Spending these time in the ‘pit’ was necessary as it has been God’s training ground for me. What I chose to focus in the ‘pit’ helped to bring the breakthrough. I chose to minimise complaining and worship Him instead, to reflect, ‘What does God want me to learn out of this?’

Seeking God first and the Kingdom of God was pivotal during this time, as it is only through putting Him above all these things (providence, faith, security), these things will be added to me. It was a difficult choice but I decided that I needed to surrender all to Him fully, everything will be His will and none of mine. He can do what He want with me, just take care of my family. I really did not have any more expectations during those difficult times.

God really went out of His way to prove to me even in my doubt and unbelief, He will be faithful and He is a good God.

God knew the deep desires of my heart, as He has taken care of everything in my life. It is only when we come to a point of losing everything in our lives, before He is able to restore it fully for us. And when He does, it will be above and beyond what we can ask and think of!

September 2015, it has been the start of the turnaround for my family. And my family is totally bowled over by His great love and faithfulness time and time again. We have been staying in a rented home these past 2 years, and it has been a comfortable and peaceful sanctuary for the family.

Prophetically, 2017 in the Hebrew calendar year of 5777, is the year of Jubilee when all inheritances are returned and people are set free from everything which has bound them. Indeed, I can attest to this, we may have lost our home in 2012, but in mid 2017, we have officially bought a new place we can call our home! Something that I never dared to dream of since 2012, but only made possible by God.

2017 is indeed a year of restoration for my family.  On a personal note, I am reminded and restored to my calling for intercession as well.

What I have learnt during difficult times of my life, it is important to seek Him, stay in His presence daily, stay obedient to Him, stay humble always, and always chose to do the things that honour Him. Seek and Focus on His Kingdom and He will surely take care of all things for us. He is a good and loving Father, who like to give good gifts to His Children. If He cares for the birds and flowers, how much more will He care for us!

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So naturally, after sharing this happy milestone on this blog, I will be starting a new series in the next couple of months on the topic of Home Renovation and decorating my new home 🏠

And definitely more write-ups on Spiritual Walk and Faith in the coming days, as the Holy Spirit leads!

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Living Ordinary Lives in Extraordinary Moments

Euphoria have taken over the country the last two weeks. It started with the relentless pursuit of virtual creatures and then went on through the victory of one man, who have become a hero and inspiration for many.

The media frenzy will eventually die down once another major world event happens, but in the meantime, I am suffering from social media fatigue from both news.

Sure we talked about the Champion at home. With K, we discussed how hardworking, determined and motivated he is, to have achieved what he has today. Positive traits that we can all learn from.

Then I posed this question to my hb yesterday morning, ‘Would you have done what the Champion’s parents did for their son, if you have discovered his talent at a young age?’ He answered with a resounding “Of course!” Then he came to a realisation, that hypothetically, this would be any parent would try to do for their child if they could. But realistically, our financial state was not in its best state 6 years ago. It became a challenge to even pay for monthly lessons, so it didn’t matter that K seemed to have showed promise for Tennis or Golf at a tender age of 2.

As for Pokemon Go, K and I discussed about the dangers of getting addicted the game and I showed his articles and photos of the masses who were gathering around a certain neighbour in their pursuit of the virtual monsters. While his school addressed the dangers of phone and game addiction during assembly this week.

The online mobile game does not seem to be not so positive with a group of players disturbing the peace in a neighbourhood and obstructing traffic in other places. And in comparison, there are much positiveness that can be garnered from the Olympic win, since it has provided inspiration for the many to aspire to possible greatness in their ordinary lives. It might have also awaken the latent ’Tiger-Parent’ in some who refuse to consider that their child will just be average.

It is always good to have ambitions, regardless whether it is an aspiration to be the Pokemon Master of Singapore where thousands of fellow Pokemon Trainers look up to, or be that person who have achieved accolades for his/her and become a country’s idol/hero overnight.

Upon retrospection, I realised that both events have a similarity. Both provided the masses emotion highs, although of a different kind, once is caused by instant gratification while the other, celebrates the victory and the glory of one man for the nation.

So what happens after these highs die down, most will be left with the dread of the empty feeling of having to deal with ordinary life. The Pokemon trainers will continue, being drawn to the feelings of instant gratification from the game, while the others will dive into their next goal or objective to reach for their child.

As for the rest of us, who have realised through the years that we are faced with this challenge of having ordinary lives and ordinary children? Pokemon Go is definitely not the answer, and neither do we need to catch them all to find entertainment or meaning from our otherwise mundane life.

There is magic in the mundane, although the world tells you that you need to become this, or have this or that to become happy. I believe we can make the most out of life by finding the joy in the ordinary. Things do not need to change, but our perception do.

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I used to think there was a list of things that my son needed to learn before he turned 6, one of them was reading and writing, then swimming, and the maybe riding a two-wheel bicycle. He got around doing most of the things in the list by 8 years old, but never got to learn to ride a 2 wheel bicycle. I didn’t feel that I needed to splurge on a trainer bike when he was a toddler and like all other milestones, like being toilet trained, or sleeping in his own room, I believe there will be a day he would be ready to learn how to do it.

Just this week, it took him two 30min sessions of learning to balance by going down on gentle slopes on a $90 BMX bicycle, without putting his legs on the pedal. And he can now ride a 2 wheel bicycle at the ripe age of 9 years old.

Some parents might exclaim, “So what, my child could ride a 2 wheel bicycle when he/she was 3/4/5 years old.” You can give your child all kinds of ambitions, or relish in the achievement that he/she could learn to read/write/cycle/swim before a certain age, or even sweep up all the awards in school. Not ensuring my child to swim or cycle before the age of 8 years old, or having a child who do not win any awards or accolades through their academic life will make me any less of a good parent.

I stopped sharing K’s milestones or success in this blog or in social media the last few years, as I reflected on what the motivation behind that. I can be proud of my son doing some things, and hope to have friends in Facebook share my joy and pride, or it might make me look like a good and capable mother, or have a very smart/handsome/capable child but I found all of that pointless.

I rather find joy in the ordinary things and in overcoming ordinary life. And really, the biggest challenge in life comes with finding joy and contentment through our everyday.

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Avoiding the Social Media Trap

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A couple of weeks ago, I did an Instagram giveaway for one of my handmades.

So I just went through the motion of asking people to share my post on Instagram, so as to qualify for an entry in the giveaway. Coupled with the requirement of being a follower of my Instagram feeds. One of the Instagram accounts that I am connected to recently did a giveaway, so I blindly followed suit thinking it will be nice to have more followers.

Right after the giveaway winners were drawn, items mailed out to the winners. Then it dawned on me.

Why will I need more followers?

I have never planned to monetize this blog, so having more followers on my social media channels or readers to this blog don’t make a difference. In fact, from last year, I have ceased taking on product or service reviews and I have been turning down invitations for any launch or event.

So why have I stopped doing reviews or to cover activities that benefit my child or the family?

I am embarking on an effort to simplify my family life. You can say that I am depriving my child of being exposed to ‘new and fun experiences’, but I am leading the way for him to learn that joy and contentment doesn’t just come from external stimulation or experiences, but true contentment and joy comes from Who we are spending time with, and NOT What we are seeking it from.

The other reason is, I do not wish to participate in any form of activity that measures this blog or the ‘performance’ of my social media channels.

As a blogger, I think it’s all too easy to fall into this social media trap, where most look to our blogging metrics to define our self-worth in terms of what we think we have accomplished in the blogging world; though our blogging reach, social media followers, or from awards.

The recent reported spat between 2 popular lifestyle bloggers was a good example. So what does it mean to be a ‘top blogger’? If we look beyond the nice-to-haves; being paid to blog or not having to fork out money for some things. Popularity from the blog, or any form of success that we see from our pursuits, do tend to feed the ego.

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I think this quote by Henri Nouwen puts it very aptly, how our ego can be our greatest enemy;

When we start being too impressed by the results of our work, we slowly come to the erroneous conviction that life is one large scoreboard where someone is listing the points to measure our worth. And before we are fully aware of it, we have sold our soul to the many grade-givers. That means we are not only in the world, but also of the world. Then we become what the world makes us. We are intelligent because someone gives us a high grade. We are helpful because someone says thanks. We are likable because someone likes us. And we are important because someone considers us indispensable. In short, we are worthwhile because we have successes. And the more we allow our accomplishments — the results of our actions — to become the criteria of our self-esteem, the more we are going to walk on our mental and spiritual toes, never sure if we will be able to live up to the expectations which we created by our last successes. In many people’s lives, there is a nearly diabolic chain in which their anxieties grow according to their successes. This dark power has driven many of the greatest artists into self-destruction. – Henri Nouwen

 

I realized that as we age, we have less and less opportunities to experience the feeling of success from what we do, and social media can often give the instant gratification and re-create the feeling of success. It’s the same kind of feeling that we get from positive evaluation of good results, thank you-s from others, or having a popular blog. This immediate feedback of LIKES, Shares and hits on the blog and social media posts, not only gives a value to what we do online, but eventually who we are.

So what does it mean after saying these things?

I think metrics are good indicators of how we are performing on a certain task, in this case, blogging or interaction on social media. However, these metrics or the popularity of your blog or following can’t be the focus of your self-worth or success.

Our self-worth, is shaped by the mundane things that we do, the daily decisions that we make as a mom, wife, daughter, sister and a friend. Getting approval from others from what we write on a blog or through social media, isn’t going to provide us with a sudden revelation of self-discovery.

Self-worth is formed through the slow prodding journey that we take towards being a person of value.

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As for what this means for my blogging journey?

I will continue write about what I am able to see beyond what’s right in front of me, finding meaning and faith to this thing called life.

I will still do giveaways on this blog, on Facebook or Instagram. But the focus will be through sharing  ideas, joy and hope with others, or simply just giving away what I have hand-made or things that I like.

So even if it is just 5 or 50 people reading this blog, I am encouraged to keep on writing in this space.

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