Category: Musings

For us all

It was a moving marriage ceremony. A special day for a long time friend, whom I recently got in touch with.

Somehow, the memory our times when we were 17 years old never really left my mind.

Our lives intertwined for a brief moment many years ago, then we went our separate ways. And here we are now, fast forward 15 years.

The intertwining of our lives once again brings me joy knowing that God has blessed her with a loving husband, and the peace knowing for certain that she has surrendered her life to our Lord Jesus Christ as her Saviour.

Her story about how she met God is a stirring one. In 2008, she went to Israel with a church group as a non-believer, to take in the sights and history of the country. It was all a leisure trip to her until the day she was brought to the Upper Room by the church members. When asked if she wanted to have a baptism in the room, in her playfulness, not understanding the symbolism or meaning of a baptism, she indicated her interest. When the church leader prayed over her, she just lost control, fell to her knees, cried, and cried and cried…

What did she feel at that moment? Only she would know really. I know that in her own words to me, since then moment, life has never been the same.

I don't think it will be the same again for any other person that encountered God the way she did, in the very place that Christ had His supper with His apostles the evening of His cruxification at the cross.

Seeing her this morning, looking so radiant and resplendent in her bridal gown. I see the joy and the peace of God in her and it reminds me how wonderful a heavenly Father I serve. He promised never to leave or forsake us at every step of our life journey, all we need is to surrender our lives and trust in what our saviour Jesus has done for us at the cross of calvary. All we have to do is to surrender and seek Him, that's how wondrous yet simple the gospel of Christ is.

Just this year, I finally found my life verse in the bible…actually I am more greedy, I don't really have it as a life verse, as it is more like a chapter with all 38 verses in it :) It's from Romans 8

What's even more meaningful at her wedding was that she chose the song that I have been listening quite often to, since I discovered it beginning of this year. She told me that she haven't been able to find that march in song for more than 1 month. Somehow I just thought that this song might just for them.

YouTube Preview Image

A song written and sung by Kari Jobe that was inspired by this verse from Romans 8.

What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?

Romans 8:31-32

No Comments by Rachel on February 4, 2012
filed in Christianity, Musings

Waiting

I absolutely hate to wait.

Yes, I tend to be an impatient person. I prefer to take things into my own hands, to my own peril at times, and thinking that I have done all I can that whatever that needs to be done is done efficiently and effectively (self-perceived).

Now I am in that state of waiting, waiting for the next step to take, next move to make. All I am hearing is the word WAIT.

I think waiting on the Lord, is the toughest spiritual discipline to do.

I know spending that waiting time in His presence, seeking His face, speaking to Him is not wasted.

If you are like me at this moment of your life, waiting on God to tell you what is the next step to take, read this poem. Hope it will give you some clarity (it did for me) why sometimes He makes us wait.

WAIT

Desparately, helplessly, longingly, I cried:

Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied.

I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate,

And the Master so gently said, "Child, you must wait."

"Wait? You say, wait!" my indignant reply.

"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!

Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?

By faith, I have asked, and am claiming your Word.

My future and all to which I can relate

hangs in the balance, and YOU tell me to WAIT?

I'm needing a 'yes', go-ahead and sign,

or even a 'no' to which I can resign.

And Lord, You promised that if we believe

we need but to ask, and we shall recieve.

And Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:

I'm weary of asking! I need a reply!

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate

As my Master repied once again, "You must wait."

So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taught

and grumbling to God, "So, I'm waiting… for what?"

He seemed, then, to kneel, and His eyes wept with mine,

And he tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.

I could shake the heavens, and darken the sun.

I could raise the dead, and cause mountains to run.

All you seek, I could give, and pleased you would be.

You would have what you want–But, you wouldn't know Me.

You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint;

You'd not know the power that I give to the faint;

You'd not learn to see through the clouds of despair;

You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there;

You'd not know the joy of resting in Me

When darkness and silence were all you could see.

You'd never experience that fullness of love

As the peace of My Spirit decends like a dove;

You'd know that I give and I save… (for a start),

But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

The glow of My comfort late into the night,

The faith that I give when you walk without sight,

The depth that's beyond getting just what you asked

Of the infinte God, who makes what you have LAST.

You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,

What it means that "My grace is sufficient for Thee."

Yes, your dreams for your loved one overnight would come true,

But, Oh, the Loss! If I lost what I'm doing in you!

So, be silent, My Child, and in time you will see

That the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me.

And though oft' My answers seem terribly late,

My most precious answer is still, "WAIT."

Author Unknown

1 Comment by Rachel on February 3, 2012
filed in Christianity, Musings

Into 2012…

Into January, so how has 2012 been so far? One world 'Tumultuous'.

But I thank God for His grace, His strength and embrace. Cos without Him, I truly cannot.

There will be some mountains to climb this year, as I am walking through a different season of my life, a new season of faith in Him. After a long and trying time of learning to finally let go, God is calling to step out in new circles and adventures.

It takes faith to walk out again, but this time, it's different, I am not the same person. Faith has rebuilt my heart. I feel the joy of His goodness and I know He is strong enough to carry me through.

If there is a soul resolution that I will make this year, the word will be 'SURRENDER'.

1 Comment by Rachel on January 18, 2012
filed in Christianity, Musings

Redeeming the time

I had an epiphany last night.

While being trapped in the middle of the bed, between the man and boy in my life, and staring at the ceiling in total darkness. It was another night with too much on my mind, and the uncomfortable position of being sandwiched by the 2 boys really did not help to lull me to sleep.

It was a post Christmas + pre-new year night that got me overwhelmed by the thought that the year was ending soon and we were entering into another new year. Throughout the whole year I have been lamenting that time is passing too quickly, my kid is growing up too fast and everyday is the same for me; there is simply not enough time in a day. While I was dwelling about the lost time and how I wish time doesn't go by so quickly, I heard this quiet still voice in my spirit, "I am eternal. I stand outside the confines of time, Why are you lamenting about the time?"

Unlike men, God is eternal and sovereign of time. And He is not confined to the 24 hours in a day, and the certain number of days that He has given us. With God, one day is as a thousand years and thousand years as a day (1 Timothy 1:17; 2 Peter 3:8)

This verse came to my mind as I heard the small quiet voice

Ephesians 5.16: 'Redeeming the time, because the days are evil.'

What do I hear God saying to me here? Does redeeming the time means I should be more efficient, work more quickly, or be better organised? Or does it mean that time spent without a result yield or accomplishing something tangible is wasted time?

The bible teaches that we need to be good stewards of our time given on this earth, however we need to be careful and not fall into a utilitarian mindset where performance and accomplishments is the all-important goal. When we start to have this mindset about time, we lose the capacity to simply enjoy God, people, and the life God has given us.

As I get older, I feel the urgency of time pressing down on me.

Before we go into the new year, I want to take stock of how I can be a good steward of the time that God has given me :

- Stewardship of time means giving God first priority. I cannot be too busy not to spend time in God's word daily, learn to be wise by understanding what God's will is, taking the time for meditation in God's word, time alone with my heavenly Father. Time to rest and renew my mind and strength.

- Stewardship of my time means setting aside time to be with the ones that I love most on this earth. So many of us tend to get caught up in the busy-ness of life, that all encounters with friends and even loved ones are so fleeting. I need to make this commitment to spend the time needed to pause, linger around for a longer while and develop deep relationships with loved ones and friends.

- Stewardship of my time means making use of my gifts and talents. I am still discovering what exactly are my gifts and talents that God has equipped me with. My prayer for this coming year is for the Lord to show me what they are, who will benefit from it (really goes beyond just earning some money or a salary from it) and how I can use them for God's kingdom.

I guess this is not the typical resolution setting post for the new year, but a time where I can take stock of where I am in life and remind myself; who God is, who am I in this life, together with how my relationships and talents should be managed with the time He has given me.

Studying 1 Peter the past few weeks have reminded me that I must understand who I am really as a Christian. I am a child of God and a citizen of heaven who is a sojourner to this earth. Everything in this world is designed to get us to make life in this world our ultimate aim, but I should not live my life simply as an earth dweller who search for his/her meaning and purpose in life from this world alone.

It means adopting and maintaining this new attitude toward my time on earth and what I do with my life. It means surrendering all to God and saying, "You are my God, all my time is in your hands." It is time to redeem my time here and use it to the best that God has ordained it for me.

I will move ahead to the new year with courage and hope, living one day at a time.

I don't know what tomorrow holds, but I know Who holds tomorrow and Who holds my hand in this journey

No Comments by Rachel on December 30, 2011
filed in Christianity, Musings
tagged

Our Christmas

This year's Christmas was a little different.

It started with me totally not in the mood for merry-making, feasting or parties. And the ultimate mood dampener, was this; I found out about 2 years ago from WIKIPEDIA that December 25, wasn't even the actual day that Jesus was born, and the date and symbols used in Christmas (like the Christmas tree) all have pagan origins. Fabulous, All of that, together with the frantic consumerism during Christmas and don't get me started on Santa Claus…

So this year, there was no Christmas tree at home. Which I was rather pleased about anyhow. I used to enjoy putting up the tree and hanging up the ornaments, but hated taking down the tree. So I skipped the hassle and concentrated on the presents.

I thought this comic strip from Calvin & the Hobbes put it ever so aptly.

Christmas is really not about Christmas trees, mistle-toe, Santa Clauses, or even the presents.

However, we still practiced gift-giving during this season, as it is a way to show our love for our family and friends, to demonstrate our appreciation for them in our lives.

I am like the most boring gift giver ever when it comes to Christmas. Generally, I think getting gifts for friends or family is extremely hard. It was worse in the past when I was not able to do any handmades. It got easier getting gifts for the ladies in the gifting list, as almost all the ladies in the list got a handmade. The guys in my list got books, all except hb. There was no present for hb this year, and he did not get me a present either, as the both of us have the same attitude towards the consumerism of Christmas.

Traditionally with my extended family, we celebrate Christmas with a family dinner and gift exchange. Incidentally, Christmas eve is my mom's birthday, so Dec 24 becomes a 'double celebration' of sorts. 

For Kyle, it is an exciting time for him, Despite knowing about the significance of Jesus' birth during Christmas about 2000 years ago. He's like Calvin from 'Calvin and the Hobbes', it is still fundamentally about the presents.

Nonetheless, the more significant memories which I am sure he will always remember about Christmas time, are meeting with his friends (actually, mommy's friends' kids, who has also become his friends).

He thoroughly enjoys their company and talks about playing with them for the next couple of days. Which reminds me that gatherings like these should be organised more often, without needing any specific occasion for a reason to meet up.

What's still the same for us is that, Christmas is all about the love of God for humanity,

It is all about Jesus really. No matter what I think of the commercialism and paganism that surround this holiday season, we cannot deny the love of God that was demonstrated in His coming through Jesus. For we are the reason, that God from Heaven came and live on Earth so men from Earth can make the choice to have eternal life in Heaven.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son,

that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. – John 3:16

I am now thinking of a way to make Chinese New Year a bit different for the coming year. Seriously, I have never been a fan of festivities. Maybe I will just have to find somewhere soon where the 3 of us can 'disappear to'…

No Comments by Rachel on December 26, 2011
filed in Family, Musings, Occasion

Calm in the storm

I am experiencing the toughest season of my life. And I am still in the midst of the storm.

Too much to put it down in words, but it is easy to blame the hb for some, but I know that our lives are a result of choices that we made. And I had a part to play as well.

What we have learnt from this is that we can never depend on our own assumptions, strength, abilities or intelligence…and never take our eyes off God. The positives that have resulted from this is that hb and I have started doing couple devotional time together. I have always been focused on my own spiritual growth and never been a very good team player when it comes to growing together as a couple in Christ.

I am amazed really. Amazed by how much strength and peace that the Lord has given me to sustain me, the joy that I still have in Him despite the difficulties. I am certain that if I do not have God in my life, I would have been crying like mad and panicking like a headless chicken. I did not shed a tear once. And the only response to my panic was to go into prayer. Prayer for the God's hand on the situation, thanksgiving for the daily sustenance and providence. And again God has proven to be so real and faithful in my life, I really felt the words of this verse coming to pass;

Philippians 4:6-7

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

I will continue running with endurance in this last leg of the race for I know 'Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.' – James 1:12

Despite whatever I am experiencing, it is nothing compared to the millions of people out there that are way less fortunate than I am. I am still working on the handmades (for fund raising for Children's Hunger Fund) to help me to remind myself of how blessed I really am.

And I know with utmost certainty that I will be able triump over the storm and soon will be able to exclaim that all glory goes to God!

Hebrews 12:1-3

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

3 Comments by Rachel on November 15, 2011
filed in Musings
tagged ,

Memories are for keeps

From pinterest

Blogging can feel quite surreal sometimes. Especially when I look back at my old posts, I realise that it is really no mean feat to have accumulated 4 years of my life stories.

There are many reasons why people blog; some do it for themselves, for a business online, to share an interest or just for their family. I have actually thought about how it would have been if my mom was a blogger. It would have been quite interesting to read about how it was like for my mom at my age and have some of my questions answered about how it was like growing up;

What was she most passionate about at that point?

What were her favorite recipes?

What was it that I used to do that amused or irritated her?

I still could ask her some of these questions now, but I guess it wouldn't be the same.

Lately, I came across a remark on another blog, the blogger mentioned that said that she did not want to post some content, as it would probably be too dull for people to read. I wonder how many of us, especially parent bloggers hesitate to put up something on our blog because it is not entertaining or sensational enough, as we are concerned that it will not amuse, entertain or simply just get comments. I think this should not be a consideration at all, really.

Whether if someone thinks your life is exciting or boring, it really should not matter. I am sure there are moms out there who share my sentiments about why we blog;

We do not blog for popularity

We do not blog to amuse or entertain

We do not blog to be someone else we are not

What is written here on the blog is pretty much what you get. As a mom, in the busyness of daily routines and hiccups, alot of things get forgotten. So when I look at my old posts and pictures, I don't even remember some of them very clearly, but I am glad that I wrote it down on the blog.

Sure, I experience seasons when there is really nothing much to take down, when the same old, same old happens. And there are also moments in time, when I have too much going on and lots to talk about.

So how do I find the time to blog? It's tough to squeeze that time from the regular schedules, but since I value the memories in this space and not want to them lost, I make time.

So here's to 4 years of blogging and cherished memories online!

From pinterest

For those with blogs, how about turning your blog into a book as a memento to keep for your kids? Or you could get your photos printed in a book. I think this is a fabulous way to finally get those pictures printed. I hope you are not like me, who have have tons of soft copies of old photos.

No blog? Start blogging to tell your story. If you don't take it down, it will just get lost in the deep recesses of your brain.

Go ahead and write it down, it will definitely be worth your time. 

4 Comments by Rachel on October 7, 2011
filed in Musings

What about God?

I showed Kyle this video last week, when I chanced it on a Christian blog that I regularly visit. The scenes in the video are real and were consolidated since the start of 2011 from various news channels.

Some of you may wonder why would I show a 4 year old these (possibly nightmare inducing visuals). It was not done on purpose, I was watching this clip on Youtube when the little boy came along, caught glimpses of it and insisted on watching the clip from the beginning to the end. I figure that this could be educational for him, as I feel that a child of a certain age should learn to be more aware of the world around him. 

The video gave a really sombering perspective of what is happening around us, the natural disasters and dead wildlife etc. Every other week these days, there will be an earthquake, flood and typhoon in some place, and most with a dire aftermath. Us humans tend to get a little immune when these things happen too often, but I think seeing all that happened since the beginning of this year, should really get us to sit up and realise this – Is the world really the same as before and could all these be getting worse?

The first question that Kyle ask after video clip ended was, "Will God save us from these things?"

My answer to him was undoubtly, "Yes of course, as long as we believe that God has send a Saviour Jesus to us who saves us from these terrible things that are happening to and will continue to get worse on earth."

His reply, "Yes I believe in Jesus and I know He will save us."

Such an unwavering pronounce of faith. How many of us can have that same childlike faith that a child has when it comes to believing in something that we do not see or touch?

As a parent, one of my biggest hope for my child is to know God. My faith means alot to me, and have given me alot of hope and strength in my life, thus I hope that my child experiences the same. Some may say this is indoctrination, shouldn't a child have the freedom to choose what he believes in?

Indoctrination is the process of inculcating ideas and attitudes, and it differs from education in the sense that an indoctrinated person is expected not to question or examine the doctrine they have learnt.

I will expect him to question or examine what he has been taught. In fact when the time comes, if he still doubts the truth about what he has learnt about God and life, I will challenge him to ask God Himself show Him how real He is. Of course 'real' in this case really goes beyond only seeing and touching…as I am an example of how God Himself has proven to be so real in my life, without having to see or touch Him physically.

I don't believe that our lives are created by chance or by a collision of atoms/big bang theory.

I hope that by helping my child know his Creator, it will help him to understand the purpose of his existence in this world. Training a child to know God is cumulative. I started reading bible stories to Kyle when he was barely 1 and a half and make a point to consistently set aside devotion time daily with him before bedtime. These resources have been really useful to use during our devotion sessions; The Beginners' Bible, The Jesus Storybook, Gotta Have God Devotions for 2-5 boys, The One Year devotional for Preschoolers. Kyle's favorites are the short bible stories from the first 2 titles.

We often talk about God, His creations, His purpose for our lives. I thank God that He has been answering my daily prayers of helping Kyle grow in wisdom and revelation of Him. Sometime last year, Kyle dreamt of Jesus and 2 weeks ago, he experienced another dream of Jesus again. Some of you who are Christians will know that hearing or seeing Jesus in your dreams is not such an easy thing to have, even when u do ask for it in your prayers.

These days I am really amazed by the things that he says about God and his level of understanding about what it means to believe in God. Often, I am being entertained by original compositions like these…

Untitled from Rachel T on Vimeo.

His question to me that evening after singing a barrage of songs about God and Jesus was, "God is very happy to hear me sing songs about Him, isn't it?"

"Yes, for sure, definitely!"

His reply, "I love to sing songs about God!"

It is really hard not to talk or sing about Him when He has grabbed your heart ever so tightly in His.

1 Comment by Rachel on September 28, 2011
filed in Musings, parenting

Fabulous Friday

Pink Roses. A symbol of grace, and a way to convey appreciation and joyfulness.

Pretty much sums up how I am feeling now at this point of my life.

Quite a coincidence really, to have chosen pink roses for the home this week. I was lead to the pink shades at the flowers wholesalers and this bunch was going at $8.50 for 20 roses. Usually at the regular florist, roses of any kind will be going at $1.50 a piece, so this was a real steal. Plus it was a nice surprise that these Indian roses had no thorns at all on their stems. Yes…I had to add this auntie-like comments on how pleased I am with the price.

I will be turning 35 tomorrow…some will say that I am moving into the wrong side of thirty. 35 is an interesting number, can't say that I am young anymore but I am not that old either.  Will not be going into this whole discourse of how 30s is the new 20s, as I am perfectly comfortable with my age.

So what are my thoughts at turning 35 years old?

I am so thankful. Thankful to God's grace that I have been given this opportunity to be full time mom since Kyle turned 1. So grateful that He has given me this responsibility to be a steward for my child, to enjoy a more fulfilled family life, pursue my passions through my 'hobby' business (that's what hb calls it) with myplayschool.net and through my crafting interest.

It has been a tough ride on the home-front for the past 1 year, but God has proven Himself to be faithful through my life journey.

Isaiah 49:23 (NIV)  ~ Those who hope in me will not be disappointed.

This verse have been on my mind for the last 2 weeks. And I just found out online that 35 in the bible, coincidentally, signifies Hope.

God's hope never disappoints! Sometimes people and things around us tend to disappoint us, but not God. Despite what is happening ahead of us, it is not going to be too rosy in the year ahead (in the world, economically and geopolitically). I have hope in God despite what I see around me.

Must be mad to have such positive outlook towards life? You will be like me too if you know your purpose in life and with Jesus as your Saviour. I have confidence in Him, even when things are falling apart, I know my Saviour will not disappoint me as He has never. 

I will be shouting from the rooftops with a loud speaker if I could. My life is blessed…all because I have a Saviour who loves me so.

Doesn't bug me one bit even if I am aging physically. Afterall I am still really youthful at heart, how not to be when I have to entertain a 4 year old everyday?

'…but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint' (Isaiah 40:31)

No grey hairs yet, but plenty of laugh lines around the eyes and mouth

 

Praise the LORD, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
Praise the LORD, my soul, and forget not all his benefits -
Who forgives all your sins, and heals all your diseases.
who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

Psalm 103:1-5

11 Comments by Rachel on September 16, 2011
filed in Flowers, Musings

Enduring

For the longest time that I can remember, I always found that showing affection does not come naturally to me. I can't say that this is an issue of nurturance, since my sister and I brought up by the same set of parents, and she is a very affectionate person (at least a lot more than I am). So maybe I may simply be “wired” to be the less affectionate sort.

I think God has a fabulous sense of humour and a great sense of irony. He paired me up with an affectionate hb, and we have a sticky and a very loving little boy. I think this is all in His plan for me to mould me into a more loving person.

The little boy is extremely generous with his random hugs and his "I love you mummy," Often clings onto my left arm during nights when he bunks in our bed and sleeps in between hb and I. One some snappy days, I will bark, "Don't cling on me tonight, sleep by yourself and leave me alone." And hb will gently remind me that I should not never turn Kyle's affections away in case of negative consequences. Needless to say, I end up with not too good quality of sleep whenever he bunks over.

Kyle makes it up the next morning by planting a kiss on my cheek before he crawls out of our bed. As for the other times, he will always ensure that there will be some light body contact when we sit together on the couch to watch TV, either his shoulder will be leaning on my arm or he will put his little chubby leg on my lap. He is extremely fond of stroking my hair when I carry him, despite me having to constantly remind him that he needs to stop touching my hair as it will start to feel quite creepy when he gets older.

As for how affectionate he is towards his dad? He has done this everytime when hb falls asleep in front of the tv in our bedroom. All without any one prompting him to do so. When he notices that hb is asleep, he quietly enters the room, turns off the tv for him, reaches out for the air con remote control and turns on the air con. Afterwards, he pulls his little blue chair below the light switch, turns off the lights in the room and closes the door behind him. Then he quietly comes to me to announce, "Daddy is sleeping."

I can't help but feeling all soppy when I think about how enduring Kyle can get. So I guess God's plan is working pretty well, motherhood can really change a person indeed.

4 Comments by Rachel on August 27, 2011
filed in Family, Musings, parenting

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