The boy came back one Monday afternoon, clearly upset, as he was wrongly accused for something he didn’t do.
The story was; his form teacher confiscated his book (that I just bought for him over that weekend) as he was about to transfer it from under his desk into his bag. He tried to reason with his teacher that he was just trying to keep the book in his bag, and never attempted to read it during class time. But her response was, “I am sorry, but I have to confiscate this book.”
He then waited, 1 week after, the book didn’t come back.
2 weeks after the incident, the book didn’t return.
3 weeks after the incident, she likely forgot about it.
Despite K asking if he could get the book back from her, she answered “I will return it to you soon”, but we still didn’t see it 2 days after that. I decided to type out this message about how I felt about the incident;
I didn’t send this message, although this was exactly how I felt. Instead, I sent this one to her. Short and simple.
And K got the book back the next day in school.
I told K that he just have to make sure that he keeps his story book in the bag during class time, in order to avoid this from happening again. It was not a fair judgement but he will have to comply to classroom rules.
Call it EQ, or realizing that it is NOT the right person I have to be assertive to, or simply just watching what comes out from my mouth, I just didn’t think that it was worth letting her know how I feel about the matter. Even though the boy wasn’t at fault from the start and this was the first time she thought she ‘caught’ him committing the offense.
Besides, I don’t want her to ‘mark’ K, or decide that this child has a very troublesome mother whom she doesn’t really like very much, and then decides to ignore him in class. I don’t know his form teacher well enough at this point to expect that she will not respond this way, if I were to send the first message.
So yes, my tongue is tamed.
Is it just age or wisdom?
Being a mom tames my tongue. Especially when you are corresponding with someone whom your child will be facing almost daily for the next 9 months in the coming year, so it is important to choose your words wisely when it comes to your child’s teachers.
Here are some words that I abide by from the book of Proverbs about watching what we say;
Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble – Proverbs 21: 23
A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. – Proverbs 15:1
Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him – Proverbs 29:20
and my all-time-favorite?
Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits – Proverbs 18:21
This constantly reminds me to be conscious of what I say to my child. To use my tongue to ENCOURAGE and Build him up, NOT tear down.
So if you are saying things to your child like “You are stupid”, when you know your child is not very intelligent, or “You are a monster or a terror,” when he/she is a handful. Stop doing it.
Words can either cause DEATH; hopes, understanding, families, friendship, reputations or even death of marriages. Or LIFE; reconciliation, peace, encouragement, hope, love.
What would come out from your mouth today? Words that give LIFE or DEATH?