I had an epiphany last night.

While being trapped in the middle of the bed, between the man and boy in my life, and staring at the ceiling in total darkness. It was another night with too much on my mind, and the uncomfortable position of being sandwiched by the 2 boys really did not help to lull me to sleep.

It was a post Christmas + pre-new year night that got me overwhelmed by the thought that the year was ending soon and we were entering into another new year. Throughout the whole year I have been lamenting that time is passing too quickly, my kid is growing up too fast and everyday is the same for me; there is simply not enough time in a day. While I was dwelling about the lost time and how I wish time doesn't go by so quickly, I heard this quiet still voice in my spirit, "I am eternal. I stand outside the confines of time, Why are you lamenting about the time?"

Unlike men, God is eternal and sovereign of time. And He is not confined to the 24 hours in a day, and the certain number of days that He has given us. With God, one day is as a thousand years and thousand years as a day (1 Timothy 1:17; 2 Peter 3:8)

This verse came to my mind as I heard the small quiet voice

Ephesians 5.16: 'Redeeming the time, because the days are evil.'

What do I hear God saying to me here? Does redeeming the time means I should be more efficient, work more quickly, or be better organised? Or does it mean that time spent without a result yield or accomplishing something tangible is wasted time?

The bible teaches that we need to be good stewards of our time given on this earth, however we need to be careful and not fall into a utilitarian mindset where performance and accomplishments is the all-important goal. When we start to have this mindset about time, we lose the capacity to simply enjoy God, people, and the life God has given us.

As I get older, I feel the urgency of time pressing down on me.

Before we go into the new year, I want to take stock of how I can be a good steward of the time that God has given me :

- Stewardship of time means giving God first priority. I cannot be too busy not to spend time in God's word daily, learn to be wise by understanding what God's will is, taking the time for meditation in God's word, time alone with my heavenly Father. Time to rest and renew my mind and strength.

- Stewardship of my time means setting aside time to be with the ones that I love most on this earth. So many of us tend to get caught up in the busy-ness of life, that all encounters with friends and even loved ones are so fleeting. I need to make this commitment to spend the time needed to pause, linger around for a longer while and develop deep relationships with loved ones and friends.

- Stewardship of my time means making use of my gifts and talents. I am still discovering what exactly are my gifts and talents that God has equipped me with. My prayer for this coming year is for the Lord to show me what they are, who will benefit from it (really goes beyond just earning some money or a salary from it) and how I can use them for God's kingdom.

I guess this is not the typical resolution setting post for the new year, but a time where I can take stock of where I am in life and remind myself; who God is, who am I in this life, together with how my relationships and talents should be managed with the time He has given me.

Studying 1 Peter the past few weeks have reminded me that I must understand who I am really as a Christian. I am a child of God and a citizen of heaven who is a sojourner to this earth. Everything in this world is designed to get us to make life in this world our ultimate aim, but I should not live my life simply as an earth dweller who search for his/her meaning and purpose in life from this world alone.

It means adopting and maintaining this new attitude toward my time on earth and what I do with my life. It means surrendering all to God and saying, "You are my God, all my time is in your hands." It is time to redeem my time here and use it to the best that God has ordained it for me.

I will move ahead to the new year with courage and hope, living one day at a time.

I don't know what tomorrow holds, but I know Who holds tomorrow and Who holds my hand in this journey