Tag: Feelings

Strange emotions

It started right after when K finished his slice of dh’s birthday cake, I played a CD with Christmas music and K wanted to dance along to the music. When dh took my hand and told K that he wanted to give him a demo to show him how to slow dance to the music, K started getting upset and insisted…

K : Only mummy dance with me
Dh carried him, then held my hand
Dh : Family can dance together
K got more upset, started crying
K : Don’t want family
Dh tried to get him to explain why he said “don’t want family,” K was crying through this whole conversation.
K : Only want mummy, don’t want family. Daddy go to work, I want mummy only
Dh : Don’t you love daddy?
K : Don’t love daddy

By this time, Dh got quite sadden by K’s remarks, so he asked K again
Dh : Daddy, mummy and you are in one family, we love one another
K : Sad family

K cried harder
M : Why did you say sad family? Mummy and daddy love you alot, you know?
K : Daddy always go to work
M : Don’t you miss daddy?
K : I want daddy to go to work
At this moment, we both realised that K (being upset) purposely said the opposite what he wanted and this meant that dh did not spend enough time with him and he wanted to spend more time with his dad
Dh : Don’t you like it like today, we went out and spend time together
K : Yes (still sobbing)
Dh : Don’t you love daddy?

K was crying even harder
K : Yes
K turned to dh and went into his arms
K : Daddy don’t go to work
Dh : Daddy needs to go to work as we need money for this home
M : Daddy will spend more time with you ok?
K : Yes (still sobbing)

I really didn’t know how to react when I witnessed this that transpired in front of me, I was laughing and crying at the same time (being a mother does make me such an emotional wreck at times). It was so strange to hear a 2+ year old expressing that sort of emotion and sensitivity, yet I felt quite moved by it.

Come to think of it, I am quite certain that the birthday cake that K ate had some pear liquer in it. So it’s true that when a person gets drunk, you lose your inhibitions and tend to get emotional, even for a 2 year old.

nov295

K’s talk : Adult

Nov13-01

K : I am a adult
Me : Oh you are not an adult yet, you are a child or a kid now. You only become an adult when you are 21 years old. You want to be an adult?
K : Yes.
Me : Why do you want to be an adult now?
K : So that I can be tall.
It must be quite annoying seeing the world from his eye-level.

Rapture

I have been experiencing mixed feelings lately.
A deep sense of sadness to see what is around me, yet joy at what is coming for me and my family.

For most, it sure sounds like I am going through some form of depression.
But I assure you I am not.
Instead, I feel that I have woken up from a deep slumber
A slumber filled with discontentment, confusion, thankless-ness, fear and cynicism.
I have woke up to what I deem as reality
A reality of what my faith (in God) is suppose to bring;
Love and appreciation for my family,
A sense of purpose for my life
And an urgency to make every single minute of my life on this earth count.

What more can I ask for?
Time with my child
Being there for my husband
And my love ones.

I am starting to look at life from the outside
Disconnecting from the materials of the world
Loved ones are the only thing that truly matters now
And the joy from this love is nothing but bliss

A little reminder

After months of ‘over-browsing and reading’, K’s favorite ‘nice book’ (Richard Scarry’s Best Storybook Ever) pages started falling off from its spine.

I glued the pages of his book back and when I told him that his nice book has been fixed, he turned to me, gave me a hug and said, “Thank you, mummy.”

All that frustrations and impatience that I have experiencing the past couple of days with my strong-willed and stubborn toddler, dissolved into thin air with that hug.

This is just a little nudge to remind me, that the challenges that I have been encountering in my parenting journey thus far is definitely worth it.

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