The Time I told him not to study his 听写


The day that I found out that K had 听写 was the night before, just when I was about to turn the lights off in the room to retire for the night.

“Mummy, I have a test tomorrow”

“Huh…test? What test?”

“Chinese 听写 test.”

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?!?”

“I forgot.”

“Did you get the list of words over the weekend?”


“How could you forget all about it…”

“I don’t know…”

I glanced at the clocked on the table, “9.15”, and decided that we are not going to revise his 听写.

“Ok, we have to sleep now…it’s too bad that you did not remember that you are going to get a 听写 test tomorrow, and make an effort to study for it this afternoon or over the weekend. It’s your responsibility not mine.”

“But how…”

“Just too bad, we sleep now…”

I slept soundly through the night, without tossing or turning in bed, or worrying about what he might experience the next day. It was just a 听写 test after all, and no 听写 test is going to rob me of a good night’s sleep.

I took the risk. The risk of failure from his very first 听写 test in primary school, as I wanted him to face the music himself. Face the consequence himself, a chance to experience some failure and possible disapproval from his Chinese teacher.

The day after, he came back with the result of his test.

Spelling 2

He didn’t fail it at 70/100. As it was a test on 汉语拼音, he didn’t managed to do too badly despite not revising, so ‘failure’ was manageable.

“I didn’t do so bad..”

“So you are happy with what you got?”

“Not really…”

“Do you think you would have been able to get better results if you have learnt your 听写?”

“Yes, I think so.”

“What are you going to do the next time?”

“I am going to make sure I show you the list next time on Friday, I will learn it and you have to test me to make sure I know it.”

Spelling 1

Learning from Failure

What am I able to teach my child from this?

What seemed like a little opportunity to allow him to experience failure, turned out to be a valuable lesson for him to learn the natural consequence of his actions, and then be motivated to solve the problem responsibly himself.

Somehow, the ability to shelter your child from failure or any form of uncomfortable situations; failure, disappointment, worry, fear has become associated with effective parenting in our culture. It is normal parenting instinct to worry about our kids (alot) and most of us parents are afraid of our child failing. In our education-obessed environment, it always has to do with failure in a certain subject or with tests and exams. We think that once our child start to fail in school, it will be hard to catch up.

I have heard this before from a fellow mom, that it is crucial that the child maintain 90% for all their subjects in Primary 1-2, so that they are able to manage Primary 3 demands. There is some truth in that, taking into account the jump in academic standards from Primary 3 onwards.

However, I see these lower Primary school years are times when I can help my child develop some coping skills later in his life. By preventing failure from happening, I believe I am depriving my child opportunities to experience natural consequence. As it will be from failure, that he will learn about self-motivation, use failure as a lesson to learn from his mistakes and to improve himself.

If I don’t allow failure now, when then?

Learning can happen not just through formal teaching sessions, but also through incidental opportunities. Children can learn effectively through observation, social interaction or through experiences of problem solving.

Do link up and share your experiences teaching your child!

Here are 2 options of ‘I Can Teach My Child’ badges for you to choose from :

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A Mom-of-One’s take on a self-absorbed Mothers’ Day Week

For a mom-of-one, the season for craving to have another child comes along every once in a while, especially when a friend just had a baby and another just got pregnant with her second.

Looking at lovely photos of the precious little infant of a few days old with their eyes closed, looking so vulnerable tends to heighten my desire of having another child. Then I should go have another child? Don’t ever say that to me, as I might just go psycho on you. Let me correct that, I never go psycho on anyone (except my hb, and rarely on K), you will likely get a stoned-face expression from me as this is a question that I am tired of answering.

A conversation on Regina‘s Facebook status made me cry last Thursday.

Screen Shot 2013 05 02 at 5 35 35 PM

Yes, it did, Regina.

Like I couldn’t control this sadness that was overwhelming me. I would like to blame it on PMS, except that PMS already happened 1 week ago. There are some things that we tend to push it at the back of our minds as we don’t want to think about it, this is one of those things for me. Somehow it has been alot more pronounced lately.

Last night I started thinking about it again, as I was contemplating if I should come public with this on my blog. Drenching my pillow with my wet tears, while at the same time, admonishing myself “You stupid over-emotional woman, cry for what. Forget about this thought, I am sure God has His reasons for you not having another child. You are not meant to be a mom-of-more-than-one. You are meant to do something else with your life, and stay as a Mom-of-one. Get it?” Yeah. Like what. I still haven’t found an answer to that.

Maybe it’s because its Mother’s Day soon, and I am just too self-focused. Mothers’ Day is not just about me, it about my mom (with 3 kids btw), and my grandmothers (who all had more than 5 kids at each side) and the majority of moms in the world with more than 1 child :( :( :(

Just have to forget Mothers’ Day for a moment.

And think about why I am being an over-emotional mom. The emo-feeling has been alot more pronounced this year likely because this is K’s last year into pre-school and he will be going to Primary 1 next year. And I don’t want Primary 1 to happen. But it is going happen, whether I like it or not. I often catch myself looking at K with this wistful look in my eye, with the same words run through my head, like a broken recorder, begging, “Please don’t grow up so fast.” And it gets worse when my thought start to wonder, “I wonder how K’s brother or sister will look like, I think he/she will be just as endearing as this little guy.” Then the rational woman in me, will go, “I think its better that you stop over-thinking, as it will never happen.”

I don’t know if this sort of things happens to moms with more 1 child. But as a mom-of-1, I always tell myself that I will make a lousy mom-of-2 or more, as I will be too overwhelmed with having to take care of two kids. But who am I kidding? It’s just sour grapes speaking here. If I was privilege enough to have another child, God will make it possible for me to manage parenting more than 1 child.

As the week of Mothers’ Day comes around. If you are a mom with one child, a mom with many kids, dwell and appreciate this great blessing to have children and an even greater privilege to shepherd them. So do not reflect on the ‘could-have, would-have, should-have’ moments that u regret making when it comes to having more than one child. Maybe is a good time also to think about your priorities as a mom to your kids?

As for this mom-of-one, I should just start making a point to a better mom and make sure that every second I spend with K really counts, and stop wasting my mom-time. After all, I still might have some time left over to make this world a better place for all. Right.

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In my Bag

They say that what handbag you carry determines your personality style.

Never judge a handbag by its cover, I say. What type of handbag a woman carries may determine what type of personality traits you might have. But I think like most other things, it is the inside that counts.

Bag 1

So what’s inside my big slouchy hobo-styled bag? Lots of things :

[wpcol_1third id=”” class=”” style=””]1.Sunglasses – How can I ever leave home without it. Black when I am wearing cool colors, and brown when my outfit is in a warm color[/wpcol_1third] [wpcol_1third id=”” class=”” style=””]2.Iphone and charger – That’s something that will give me withdrawal symptoms if I ever leave home without them[/wpcol_1third] [wpcol_1third_end id=”” class=”” style=””]3.Umbrella – One of the smallest and lightest umbrella that I got a couple a years ago that cost me almost $30. But I am not going to complain about its price, since it is so durable and easy to carry around (It usually inside a Watson plastic bag, which is really handy when the umbrella gets wet)[/wpcol_1third_end]

[wpcol_1third id=”” class=”” style=””]4.Foldable bag – My sis passed me her extra set last year, and I have only used it once since then. Maybe its because I always carry such huge bags that I hardly ever need an extra bag to hold things[/wpcol_1third] [wpcol_1third id=”” class=”” style=””]5.Video Ezy Vouchers – We don’t have regular TV channels at home, so have become die-hard Video Ezy members[/wpcol_1third] [wpcol_1third_end id=”” class=”” style=””]6.EZ link cards – Another thing I can’t leave home without, and K’s card is always in my bag.[/wpcol_1third_end]

[wpcol_1third id=”” class=”” style=””]7.‘White Bunny with a hot pink dress’ earphones holder with iPhone earphones – One of my handmades that I made for a charity sale two years ago[/wpcol_1third] [wpcol_1third id=”” class=”” style=””]8.Black hairclip – I carry different ones in different shades depending on what I am wearing that day. My hair clip need to match my outfit, how can hair clips not match outfits?[/wpcol_1third] [wpcol_1third_end id=”” class=”” style=””]9.Wipes – For wiping K’s dirty mouth and fingers[/wpcol_1third_end]

[wpcol_1third id=”” class=”” style=””]10.Things spilling out of my black pouch – 1 Nivea lip balm, 1 Estee Lauder lip stick with a tiny mirror inside, 1 lip gloss from Mary Kay, Eye Drops for when the contact lenses get really dry, a pen and house keys with a Video Ezy membership keychain attached.[/wpcol_1third] [wpcol_1third id=”” class=”” style=””]11.More stuff spilling out of my black pouch – Hb often grins when he sees me keep my bags within a bag, within a bag. A Piggy card holder with my cards and cash – I don’t like wallets as they are too bulky.[/wpcol_1third] [wpcol_1third_end id=”” class=”” style=””]12.My Cat coin purse – for small change[/wpcol_1third_end]

So what does my bag say about me?

Outwardly I am sort-of, kind-of a fashionista, but inwardly, I embrace my inner-childlike personality.


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