I cried twice while reading this book aloud to Kyle.

Teaching Kyle the concept of death through picture books turned out to be a lot harder for me than I expected. I thought that it will manageable for the both of us to start with books illustrating the death of pets, but it proved out to be otherwise. 

This book gave a strikingly realistic and poignant picture of a child coping with the loss of a pet, and it just brought a plethora of memories, especially to the day that the family had to make a tough choice to put our family dog, Shawn to sleep. When I was midway reading the book to Kyle, I had flashbacks of the moment when my sister, dad, hb, mom, Kyle and I were huddled around Shawn, moments before he got the euthanasia shot from the vet. And the tears started flowing.

All I could say to Kyle when we finished reading the book was, "It‘s so sad…" Kyle was rather amused to see me cry while reading the book for the first time, and insisted that I read the book a second time that evening to see my response. I didn’t think that I would cry so easily the second time around, but I did. I told Kyle that it is ok to be sad when you miss someone.

I cried again while writing this post and reading this account again after 4 years, from my sisters now-defunct blog.

Kyle had little emotional attachment to Shawnie, as he was barely about 2 years old then. The only loss he has experienced so far is the death of one of his hamsters, Doh Doh, which he has little concern for. So he could not understand and found it rather amusing that, "Mommy cried after reading a picture book with me."

Death is a hard subject to broach, a lot harder than I expected. But I will still go ahead with helping Kyle learn about it, as it will not get any easier down the road if we ever have to experience a loss.

My extended family has since gotten a new dog, barely a few months after Shawn died, and we all love him dearly, but somehow it is not quite the same. Hb once said (after the loss of his extended family dog) that he will not want to have a dog ever in our nuclear family, as it will be too hard to experience the loss of a loved one every 14-15 years or so.

I will getting hold of this book Dog Heaven by Cynthian Rylant for myself the next time at the library.

In loving memory of Shawn

1994 – 2008