Singapore Parents and the Education System : A Parable (Part 1)

If you are familiar with the bible, I am sure you will know about the story of The Exodus. The story of how the Israelites left the oppression and slavery in Egypt led by Moses, into Canaan, a land promised by God for them that was ‘flowing with milk and honey’.

The story of Exodus isn’t just some bedtime bible story that I read to my child, or just something that happened in the old testament of the bible. This story is also symbolic to the journey that each of us have to go through our lives. How is it symbolic? Let me bring you through how the story of Exodus can be applied like a parable of sorts, to this topic that most parents are concerned about for their children in this country; their school-going children and their future through the Singapore Educational System.

The exodusIllustration from this site

Just this past weekend, my friend and fellow mom blogger, Sarah blogged about what she felt was wrong with Singapore’s Educational System. Coming from ex-teacher who used to be in the system, she brought up relevant issues about the flaws of a ranking system of teachers and schools and the concerns of ‘the seemingly depressed state of students and people we have in Singapore, in spite of us having life good here’.

Sarah shared very disconcerting figures of a ‘study of over 600 children aged between 6-12 in Singapore, researchers found that 22% indicated that they harboured intentions to commit suicide or held suicidal tendencies…PSLE week alone this year, I heard of two separate cases of attempted suicide by tweens. I believe the depressed state and unhappiness in our children is a reflection of the adults in the society too. The failure to meet standards set by a system seems to drive people – children and adults- to despair of themselves.’

I will be using these very points to illustrate how these rather depressing state of things with our education system that many have experienced in real life, that can be related to Exodus story from 1441BC.

The Taskmaster

Egypt is a picture of the land of slavery.

Screen Shot 2013 10 22 at 10 23 26 AM

How is that related to the ‘system’? The education in Singapore doesn’t quite liberate people, or so we like to think that it does. In fact, it has proven to have cause depression in many of the children through their stringent standards, in some teachers in the system, even parents encouraging angsty behavior in their kids which they believe will be cathartic in their relief of stress.

Many parents feel powerless over the system and are pressured by the demands of the system. Most cannot help but to weigh their children down with the additional burdens of tuition classes just to keep up with the standards of the system, especially when their kids fail to catch up. There is this other side of the coin, where we have parents who take pride in their children’s academic achievements, and will ensure that tuition will help them get one step ahead of their classmates in class, ace the system and qualify for the GEP scheme.

Many parents are focused on ensuring that their children do well in the system, until they ignore the burdens that they have placed on them, which will eventually wear their spirits down. Eventually, some children get depressed, some start to detest going to school, and lose their motivation towards learning.

Why will parents burden their children with expectations of over-achievements at a young age? All just to conform to the societal expectations.

I see the irony of all ironies through this; education has always been a key factor to empower people in a society and improve lives. And it provides plenty of social benefits for individuals in a society at large; so that people will have the ability to take care of themselves and consequently create a better society to live in.

How did something so positive for a society turn into a cruel task-master? A cruel task-master will only be able to fulfill its role, when it has willing slaves. After all it takes two to tango.

I am sounding like a disillusioned parent? Well, I took the idealistic and hopeful stance the last time. But being a realist most other times, I know this present state of things will not be able to address these current plagues / problems.

Some parents think that it will all get better in the next decade, since there have been much discussions about creating a holistic education. Call me a cynic, but I don’t see added responsibilities and KPIs on the teachers as an improvement. I think this system is  in a dire need for an overhaul and reform, and it will take too much effort for changes to be implemented in the short term.

Leaving Egypt

‘Mindsets need to be changed in this partnership of educating children’, this was what Mr Heng Sweet Keat (Minister of Education) urged some parents to do during the last round-table discussion.

Here are some ways I think mindsets can be changed, and how change will help parents depart ‘Egypt’ and break the chains of control from this cruel task-master. This can only happen f you have the courage to consider a new paradigm.

As long as you stay with the task-master and are too afraid to make the change in your mindset, you will always feel powerless, and your children will continue to be slaves to the system that are weigh down by burdens that are hard to bear.

If we want to break the power ‘task-master’ have over us, we need to start cutting off what it feeds on. Don’t just follow the crowd and be ‘kiasu’ that your child will lose out.

So what are the consequences of these burdens, and what is feeding the taskmaster?

Parental Attitudes

1. Pride in Achievements and Success – it makes us feel good. Who doesn’t want a child that is in a good school, who has good results. Even better if he/she is smarter than the neighbors, a child that tops his/her class, and you wouldn’t feel embarrass sharing his/her academic achievements with the relatives during Chinese New Year gathering.

Will we ever come to a point where we will be able to forgo our pride, and stop worrying about what people think about us or our children?

Maybe. Only when it gets bad and our kids becomes victims, then we will stop feeding our pride.

2. Fear of Failure – From a society that has anti-failure bias, failure is like the worse thing that can happen to a person. When a child fails, a parent feels responsible for that failure. So we will do whatever it takes in order to avoid failure, even when the standards set are no more realistic.

Besides, achieving good results as a positive outcome from education, have always opened the path to a promise of a better life. A life where we are likely have a better chance at making more money, own bigger houses and cars and take more family vacations. Isn’t that what most of us in this country hope to achieve?

Children have to learn Failure

Whatever happened to the concept of school years being a good time to allow failure to happen? Children in school are suppose to have people who can support the child to help them figure out how it happened and how they can learn to do differently. If school is not helping with that, then parents need to step up to take the responsibility to help their children along with it, and not give add on to the burden of high achievements and their refusal to accept any form of failure.

If we don’t allow our children to fail in a safe environment, we are not giving them the tools to be independent and they will never learn to be self-sufficient. Our goal as parents is to help our children to a point where they are responsible for themselves, learn the consequences of their actions and decisions, as much as possible.

Are you going to wait for the ‘plagues’ like depression, a fear of school, rebellion against parental direction or attempted suicide to happen, before you are convinced that it is time change your mindset to do the Exodus and leave ‘Egypt’?

Screen Shot 2013 10 21 at 4 57 03 PMIllustration from here

How can you tell if you have a slave mentality? When you are ruled by societal standards telling you what’s good or bad for your child.

Do you think we will get any help if the burdens of the system gets too much for our children and child becomes a victim of the hard task-master of the education system?

By then, we will be left to our own devices to try to pick up the pieces.

———-

An additional note for fellow Christians :

The first step in leaving ‘Egypt’ (slavery mindset) is to get your thinking in line with God’s. In black and white below, the word says that we have to take every thought, every reasoning of doubt, unbelief, thinking and worrying excessively, all captive and turn it around to match His word.

Screen Shot 2013 10 21 at 6 25 55 PMIllustration from here

Step out in faith and believe that God truly has a ‘Promised land’ for you and your children. Most of us are not trained to think this way, to go in a different direction against the tide. However when making the change, you might discover that this could turn out quite different from what the world tells you what you must do for your children.

Will you still follow the world’s ways when you realize that the world’s ways truly are NOT God’s ways and you have been called to head a different direction?

Part II of the post tomorrow….on how I have started to leave ‘Egypt’. And NO, it has nothing to do with Home-Schooling.

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Book Burning – Justified or Senseless?

 

Screen Shot 2013 10 09 at 12 03 29 PMArticle from here

One word – Angst.

I feel their angst too. To burn books after PSLE, must be an accumulation of frustration over time, a fair bit of anger and could possibly communicate a hidden message to the education ministry that they are sick of the oppressive educational standards?

Maybe.

Could the psyche behind this book burning action is a way of expressing hatred so profound that the offensive material must be removed from existence. By reducing the offensive stuff to ashes, it will be removed from the parents’ or children memory entirely.

Probably not.

I still tend to think that these Singaporeans did not think so much when they burnt those books. Mother or father is frustrated that the entire year is ruined by the stress of preparation of PSLE that they are unable to lead a normal life, and kid has been so stressed by this exam. That they decided one day after exam, “We have to take revenge. Take revenge on the torture that have been inflicted by these books the past 9 months, by burning them. Plus daughter / son is going to feel quite happy and satisfied once they see the books burnt. Yes, it will be no more. No more torture from these books.”

After all, exam is done, kid has already regurgitated what is read in those books at the exams, they have no more need for the books.

Book burning in history is symbolic of an oppressive regime which sought to silence an aspect of a nation’s culture, generally motivated by moral, religious or political objections to the material. Who has done book burning before? Oppressive regimes from Hitler, religious and communistic regimes through history. All in their efforts to suppress heretical or dissenting views that are perceived as posing a threat to the prevailing order (Wikipedia)

Book burning. What used to be an act carried out in extreme situations by extremists group. And NOT a function of developed or democratic government n these modern times, have evolved into a senseless expression of angst and frustration of some of my country’s citizens towards how they choose to manage societal pressures.

So mother and father do not realize the message that they are relaying to the kids through that action of book burning? That it is ok to be extreme. It is ok to display your angst by burning things. It is ok to display your hatred of something and burn them, as long it make you feel better about yourself. Today book burning, tomorrow arsonists?

Humans have always and will still be a confused bunch, methinks.

I wonder what will run through these kids’ minds when they finally become adults and have somewhat negative feelings towards their jobs or their bosses?

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Are you An Apathetic Singaporean?

Two weeks ago, when I chanced upon a video on Facebook about floods in Colorado, USA. K glanced at it and commented, “There are so many floods these few months, normal to see people die…”

Colorado See before and after photos of Colorado at this link

I raised my voice and looked him sternly in the eye, “What do you mean it is normal? It is NOT normal for people to lose their lives from a disaster! Do you think it is normal if your daddy, your Nana or your friend, or anyone close to you die from a disaster?” He weakly muttered, “No…”

I replied, “Remember this, when you see people suffer around you, it is bad enough that we are not able to help being so far away, but don’t you ever dare to say this is normal ever, do you understand! This is not normal, people do not deserve to die and suffer like that! Just because it doesn’t happen in Singapore, doesn’t mean that we can have a bad attitude about it! Pray for these people, that God shows mercy to them and more turn to Him before it is too late.”

I might sound harsh to my 6 year old, but I was alarmed to have heard apathy expressed from a young child. When did he learn not to care? Maybe he did not understand the severity of the situation, and the harsh reality of lives lost sensessly to the natural disasters that have increased in frequency the past 2-3 years.

Natural disasters. We can’t do anything about it, and we have been really blessed living in Singapore, where the closest disaster that we have experience lately was the few days of terrible haze, some flash floods and the possible onset of pestilences.

How about incidences that it is within our reach to be able to help?

Do you recall the incident in 2011 of a two year old girl in Guang Dong province who was hit by two vehicles after wandering onto the road? The little girl laid unconscious and bleeding on the ground for 6 minutes, as over a dozen people passed over her body, none of them stopped to check or helped her. The incident was captured on a surveillance camera and video was circulated through the internet and social media network. It sparked an out cry amongst the Chinese media and the people online and many were shocked by the people who just passed by a person, a child at that, in need.

There have been discussions that there was a 2006 case of Peng Yu, resulted in citizens becoming increasingly wary of lending a hand to strangers in need. Peng Yu, a resident of Nanjing, Jiangsu province, came to the aid of an elderly woman who had fallen in a public area. The woman later accused him of causing her fall, and took him to court.

The court decided in favor of the woman based on the reasoning that Peng would not have helped the woman had he not felt guilt from causing the fall in the first place, and ordered him to pay compensation to the elderly woman.

I think that was a pretty warped logic from the Chinese courts to start with. So people will only help others out of guilt?

I wonder if Singaporeans will one day become like this. For the fear of getting into trouble, or with a pre-occupation with self-interest, do not care for the needs of others around them?

With the increased of cynicism towards the present that seems discouraging picture. Or a future that looks unpromising, it will seem difficult to care about life, what more for others! Especially when life does not seem to care about you. Thoughts like, “I have so much of my own issues to take care of, why should I extend a helping hand to the young, weak or old?” will eventually become a commonplace of people’s attitudes toward others.

That same week, I came across an exchange through Facebook that indicated that apathy is very much alive in our environment : Screen Shot 2013 10 08 at 11 12 58 AM Well, at least this person expressed what he felt, and still bothered to comment. He was likely generalizing about beliefs as a whole. And the usual thought of “What can we do anyway?” likely crossed his mind. As usual, your friend here cannot keep her mouth shut since I don’t agree with the practice that was shared, even though it might be ‘normal’ in a certain culture.

Apathy tends to be more pronounced when we do not know what we can do to help or limited by our ability to help. Why say so much if I cannot help? Actually some of us can, prayer is action for a Christian, as I know God hears my prayers, and I trust that He will intervene in His perfect timing, even when I cannot see what He will do.

As a parent, I need to watch out for my child ever becoming pessimistic or cynical about life. All of that breeds apathy. And eventually an outlook with little hope, lots of disappointment, resentment about life in general. Often I agree that the challenges that we experience through life can be hard, and feeling resigned to life is a normal emotional process that we experience. However, there still always still hope.

A loss of hope and apathy is actually two sides of the same coin. Could the apathetic lack a sense of purpose or meaning in their life? So it gets easier to deal with things when they don’t care.

Here’s a video to gauge your level of apathy,

[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5MuzgYFbllY&feature=c4-overview&list=UU9-aSGgj7pVXFEnd-iFzVdA’]

The usual responses that I have heard from people after seeing videos of this nature are :

1. Is this really happening around the world? What is wrong?

2. It is terrible, but disasters happen all the time, luckily it doesn’t happen in Singapore. (My comment : Really? At this frequency?)

3. Who cares? I already have enough issues on my own, why should I care about people or things happening so far away? Stop showing me things like that.

**Btw, this the most recent video of the compilation of natural disasters that are happening around the world in the mid-end week of September 2013.

So, how can you tell if you are an apathetic Singapore? Try taking this Apathy Test . And if you have found yourself to be apathetic, it is probably time to find out what is the purpose and meaning of life. Screen Shot 2013 10 08 at 2 28 46 PM

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