Archives for February 2012

The problem with pain

I have been thinking alot about my journey of life the past couple of weeks.

Life for me, is categorised into the different feelings that I experienced through this journey thus far. The joyful moments, the triumphant moments and the poignant moments. There are probably many other feelings in between, but it is kind of hard to express all of it in words.

I have recorded so much of the joyful and triumphant this blog, alot of it revolving around my role as a mother, but how about the poignant moments? I used to not want to talk about it at all in my blog, as I felt that all I want to remember the happy and memorable memories, and not the poignant ones. It is so typical of me to go through life in the hectic-ness of, to brush away poignant feelings, thinking that it is not worth remembering…and to say to myself "move along, nothing to look at."

The poignant state that I am in at this point in my life seems to be hovering in a state of suspension.

Is pain really a necessity in our lives? Unfortunately it is. Why? Only with pain can we realise how wretched we are, and how we can't go through life alone. I can't put it as aptly as C.S Lewis on why pain is necessary in our lives.

From The Problem of Pain, by C.S. Lewis :

"If the first and lowest operation of pain shatters the illusion that all is well, the second shatters the illusion that what we have, whether good or bad in itself, is our own and enough for us.  Everyone has noticed how hard it is to turn our thoughts to God when everything is going well with us.   We 'have all we want' is a terrible saying when 'all' does not include God.  We find God an interruption.  As St Augustine says somewhere, 'God wants to give us something, but cannot, because our hands are full – there's nowhere for Him to put it.'  Or as a friend of mine said, 'We regard God as an airman regards his parachute;  it's there for emergencies but he hopes he'll never have to use it.'  Now God, who has made us, knows what we are and that our happiness lies in Him.  Yet we will not seek it in Him as long as He leaves us any other resort where it can even plausibly be looked for.  While what we call 'our own life' remains agreeable we will not surrender it to Him.  What then can God do in our interests but make 'our own life' less agreeable to us, and take away the plausible source of false happiness?  It is just here, where God's providence seems at first to be most cruel, that the Divine humility, the stooping down from the Highest, most deserves praise.  We are perplexed to see misfortune falling upon decent, inoffensive, worthy people – on capable, hard-working mothers of families or diligent, thrifty little tradespeople, on those who have worked so hard, and so honestly, for their modest stock of happiness and now seem to be entering on the enjoyment of it with the fullest right."

"Let me implore the reader to try to believe, if only for the moment, that God, who made these deserving people, may really be right when He thinks that their modest prosperity and the happiness of their children are not enough to make them blessed:  that all this must fall from them in the end, and that if they have not learned to know Him they will be wretched.  And therefore He troubles them, warning them in advance of an insufficiency that one day they will have to discover.  The life to themselves and their families stands between them and the recognition of their need; He makes that life less sweet to them.  I call this a Divine humility because it is a poor thing to strike our colours to God when the ship is going down under us; a poor thing to come to Him as a last resort, to offer up 'our own' when it is no longer worth keeping.  If God were proud He would hardly have us on such terms:  but He is not proud, He stoops to conquer, He will have us even though we have shown that we prefer everything else to Him, and come to Him because there is 'nothing better' now to be had.  The same humility is shown by all those Divine appeals to our fears which trouble high-minded readers of Scripture.  It is hardly complimentary to God that we should choose Him as an alternative to Hell:  yet even this He accepts.  The creature's illusion of self-sufficiency must, for the creature's sake, be shattered; and by trouble or fear of trouble on earth, by crude fear of the eternal flames, God shatters it 'unmindful of His glory's diminution'."

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For us all

It was a moving marriage ceremony. A special day for a long time friend, whom I recently got in touch with.

Somehow, the memory our times when we were 17 years old never really left my mind.

Our lives intertwined for a brief moment many years ago, then we went our separate ways. And here we are now, fast forward 15 years.

The intertwining of our lives once again brings me joy knowing that God has blessed her with a loving husband, and the peace knowing for certain that she has surrendered her life to our Lord Jesus Christ as her Saviour.

Her story about how she met God is a stirring one. In 2008, she went to Israel with a church group as a non-believer, to take in the sights and history of the country. It was all a leisure trip to her until the day she was brought to the Upper Room by the church members. When asked if she wanted to have a baptism in the room, in her playfulness, not understanding the symbolism or meaning of a baptism, she indicated her interest. When the church leader prayed over her, she just lost control, fell to her knees, cried, and cried and cried…

What did she feel at that moment? Only she would know really. I know that in her own words to me, since then moment, life has never been the same.

I don't think it will be the same again for any other person that encountered God the way she did, in the very place that Christ had His supper with His apostles the evening of His cruxification at the cross.

Seeing her this morning, looking so radiant and resplendent in her bridal gown. I see the joy and the peace of God in her and it reminds me how wonderful a heavenly Father I serve. He promised never to leave or forsake us at every step of our life journey, all we need is to surrender our lives and trust in what our saviour Jesus has done for us at the cross of calvary. All we have to do is to surrender and seek Him, that's how wondrous yet simple the gospel of Christ is.

Just this year, I finally found my life verse in the bible…actually I am more greedy, I don't really have it as a life verse, as it is more like a chapter with all 38 verses in it :) It's from Romans 8

What's even more meaningful at her wedding was that she chose the song that I have been listening quite often to, since I discovered it beginning of this year. She told me that she haven't been able to find that march in song for more than 1 month. Somehow I just thought that this song might just for them.

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A song written and sung by Kari Jobe that was inspired by this verse from Romans 8.

What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?

Romans 8:31-32

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The Wait

I absolutely hate to wait.

Yes, I tend to be an impatient person. I prefer to take things into my own hands, to my own peril at times, and thinking that I have done all I can that whatever that needs to be done is done efficiently and effectively (self-perceived).

Now I am in that state of waiting, waiting for the next step to take, next move to make. All I am hearing is the word WAIT.

I think waiting on the Lord, is the toughest spiritual discipline to do.

I know spending that waiting time in His presence, seeking His face, speaking to Him is not wasted.

If you are like me at this moment of your life, waiting on God to tell you what is the next step to take, read this poem. Hope it will give you some clarity (it did for me) why sometimes He makes us wait.


Desparately, helplessly, longingly, I cried:

Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied.

I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate,

And the Master so gently said, "Child, you must wait."

"Wait? You say, wait!" my indignant reply.

"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!

Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?

By faith, I have asked, and am claiming your Word.

My future and all to which I can relate

hangs in the balance, and YOU tell me to WAIT?

I'm needing a 'yes', go-ahead and sign,

or even a 'no' to which I can resign.

And Lord, You promised that if we believe

we need but to ask, and we shall recieve.

And Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:

I'm weary of asking! I need a reply!

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate

As my Master repied once again, "You must wait."

So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taught

and grumbling to God, "So, I'm waiting… for what?"

He seemed, then, to kneel, and His eyes wept with mine,

And he tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.

I could shake the heavens, and darken the sun.

I could raise the dead, and cause mountains to run.

All you seek, I could give, and pleased you would be.

You would have what you want–But, you wouldn't know Me.

You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint;

You'd not know the power that I give to the faint;

You'd not learn to see through the clouds of despair;

You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there;

You'd not know the joy of resting in Me

When darkness and silence were all you could see.

You'd never experience that fullness of love

As the peace of My Spirit decends like a dove;

You'd know that I give and I save… (for a start),

But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

The glow of My comfort late into the night,

The faith that I give when you walk without sight,

The depth that's beyond getting just what you asked

Of the infinte God, who makes what you have LAST.

You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,

What it means that "My grace is sufficient for Thee."

Yes, your dreams for your loved one overnight would come true,

But, Oh, the Loss! If I lost what I'm doing in you!

So, be silent, My Child, and in time you will see

That the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me.

And though oft' My answers seem terribly late,

My most precious answer is still, "WAIT."

Author Unknown

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