Living Ordinary Lives in Extraordinary Moments

Euphoria have taken over the country the last two weeks. It started with the relentless pursuit of virtual creatures and then went on through the victory of one man, who have become a hero and inspiration for many.

The media frenzy will eventually die down once another major world event happens, but in the meantime, I am suffering from social media fatigue from both news.

Sure we talked about the Champion at home. With K, we discussed how hardworking, determined and motivated he is, to have achieved what he has today. Positive traits that we can all learn from.

Then I posed this question to my hb yesterday morning, ‘Would you have done what the Champion’s parents did for their son, if you have discovered his talent at a young age?’ He answered with a resounding “Of course!” Then he came to a realisation, that hypothetically, this would be any parent would try to do for their child if they could. But realistically, our financial state was not in its best state 6 years ago. It became a challenge to even pay for monthly lessons, so it didn’t matter that K seemed to have showed promise for Tennis or Golf at a tender age of 2.

As for Pokemon Go, K and I discussed about the dangers of getting addicted the game and I showed his articles and photos of the masses who were gathering around a certain neighbour in their pursuit of the virtual monsters. While his school addressed the dangers of phone and game addiction during assembly this week.

The online mobile game does not seem to be not so positive with a group of players disturbing the peace in a neighbourhood and obstructing traffic in other places. And in comparison, there are much positiveness that can be garnered from the Olympic win, since it has provided inspiration for the many to aspire to possible greatness in their ordinary lives. It might have also awaken the latent ’Tiger-Parent’ in some who refuse to consider that their child will just be average.

It is always good to have ambitions, regardless whether it is an aspiration to be the Pokemon Master of Singapore where thousands of fellow Pokemon Trainers look up to, or be that person who have achieved accolades for his/her and become a country’s idol/hero overnight.

Upon retrospection, I realised that both events have a similarity. Both provided the masses emotion highs, although of a different kind, once is caused by instant gratification while the other, celebrates the victory and the glory of one man for the nation.

So what happens after these highs die down, most will be left with the dread of the empty feeling of having to deal with ordinary life. The Pokemon trainers will continue, being drawn to the feelings of instant gratification from the game, while the others will dive into their next goal or objective to reach for their child.

As for the rest of us, who have realised through the years that we are faced with this challenge of having ordinary lives and ordinary children? Pokemon Go is definitely not the answer, and neither do we need to catch them all to find entertainment or meaning from our otherwise mundane life.

There is magic in the mundane, although the world tells you that you need to become this, or have this or that to become happy. I believe we can make the most out of life by finding the joy in the ordinary. Things do not need to change, but our perception do.


I used to think there was a list of things that my son needed to learn before he turned 6, one of them was reading and writing, then swimming, and the maybe riding a two-wheel bicycle. He got around doing most of the things in the list by 8 years old, but never got to learn to ride a 2 wheel bicycle. I didn’t feel that I needed to splurge on a trainer bike when he was a toddler and like all other milestones, like being toilet trained, or sleeping in his own room, I believe there will be a day he would be ready to learn how to do it.

Just this week, it took him two 30min sessions of learning to balance by going down on gentle slopes on a $90 BMX bicycle, without putting his legs on the pedal. And he can now ride a 2 wheel bicycle at the ripe age of 9 years old.

Some parents might exclaim, “So what, my child could ride a 2 wheel bicycle when he/she was 3/4/5 years old.” You can give your child all kinds of ambitions, or relish in the achievement that he/she could learn to read/write/cycle/swim before a certain age, or even sweep up all the awards in school. Not ensuring my child to swim or cycle before the age of 8 years old, or having a child who do not win any awards or accolades through their academic life will make me any less of a good parent.

I stopped sharing K’s milestones or success in this blog or in social media the last few years, as I reflected on what the motivation behind that. I can be proud of my son doing some things, and hope to have friends in Facebook share my joy and pride, or it might make me look like a good and capable mother, or have a very smart/handsome/capable child but I found all of that pointless.

I rather find joy in the ordinary things and in overcoming ordinary life. And really, the biggest challenge in life comes with finding joy and contentment through our everyday.


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Truth in Love

I like controversies.

In fact, I think controversies are healthy challenges for a parent to have to deal with. When bringing up children, societal beliefs and practices throw plenty of curve balls at a parent, so the challenge is to conform or to question?

Controversies are also very useful to me as an individual. As it serves to question my convictions and make me ask questions, “Society is claiming this, my friends also believe in what society says. But what exactly do I believe in?”

Beliefs in a society have become a variable these days. One moment, psychology or health experts can say that a conclusion is drawn after extensive research, but a few years later, the conclusion is different after new findings are discovered.

To further complicate things, there are mindsets. The common thought these days is like this, ‘Nothing is really true of false, it is depended on the point of view that you look at them. Even if you believe in your truth, it will be rude to say that the opposite is a lie. You need to be tolerant of others’ point of view.’
LoveandTruthquote1.jpg Disagreements will still exist with Tolerance
I agree with the tolerance bit, except that the disagreement still exists, which explains why there is a need for tolerance.

The definition of tolerance is ‘the ability or willingness to tolerate the existence of opinions or behavior that one dislikes or disagrees with.’ I can tolerate the existence of things that I do not agree with, but it doesn’t mean that I have to agree with it, or not express my disagreement.

Society tells us that it is not smart to make unpopular statements, or to say things that will seem to discriminate a group of people, especially if they are friends or relatives, who have differing opinions from you do. Make too many statements and it will look like you hate, or it is fear that motivates your comments.

We should also not interfere in others’ in their freedom of expression to love. If you point out that the pride of life and lust of the flesh is a problem, then you are being too judgmental and self-righteous. Who made you a judge anyhow, especially since you have your own problems too. We are not to protest against changing societal mindsets, if not, be considered a bigot.

Is Sincerity and Love Enough?

Society will be so much better, if only, there was more sincerity and love.

Let’s put it this way, quoting the words of Charles Spurgeon; ‘If a person traveling North, was really sincere that he was going South, will his sincerity bring him to the destination he wanted to go? Or if a man starved himself, while he sincerely believed himself to be feasting, how long would it take him to get fat?’

You might see that these things are contrary to the laws of nature in the first place. Likewise, many things in nature are fixed, who are we as mere man to want to change nature’s laws to suit our lust and fancies? Love and sincerity in believing a lie, will not change the lie into truth.

Like what I always tell K, every choice and decision we make have a consequence. If we are honest and sincere in keeping the road towards ruin, the natural end of the road will be eternal destruction.
LoveandTruthquote2.jpg Love Means Telling The Truth
As for love. Love means telling the truth even when it hurts.

It’s always easier to keep our mouth shut and not risk rejection or confrontations. But I believe in this saying, ‘sometimes the most loving thing a person can do is to wound a friend with the truth’.

As a parent, there will be no short of opportunities to meet controversies in the face and examine what does truth means to us.

Truth cannot be relative for a parent. Societal beliefs and practices are too wavering and fickle for parents to depend on as the final authority. Who will pay the price of the fickle-minded society, whose counsel for parents and their children, may not be for their ultimate good? So what truth are you convicted by?

Our children will pay the price of our choice.

Truth will be tested by time, and it will endure plenty of oppositions. If you are a Christian parent like me, who holds by the truth and the Word of God, how willing are you able to share your stance, despite much disapprovals? Especially when society is adamant to change natural laws according to their fancies and lust.

Do you fear men approvals or do you fear God? If fearing men is more important, then it is probably time to ask if you were truly convicted by your faith in God in the first place.

Ultimately, the truth will prevail and I have made my choice as a parent and as a Christian. LoveandTruthquote3

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Solo-Parenting a 7 year old Boy

I have to admit that when I found out I was having a little boy, it was with a mixed bag of emotions. I would very much like to say that I was moved by the miracle of life and cried happy tears when my child was placed in my arms.

But the very first thing I said to my hb when I saw K was, “Why does he look like that?”

Well, this shallow mom have repented since.

Lately with the recent adjustments at home, I have been reflecting about my part of being one-half of a parent to K. I used to think that the relationship between same-sexed parents and children; i.e.. mother-daughter or father-son, are extra special. However, I found out that the relationship that forms the child, are the mother-son, father-daughter relationships.

I am not just saying this since I have a son, nor do I want to downplay the importance that Dads have on their son being role models. But this combination it seems, is the ideal parent-child combination for single parents.

I may not fit into a profile of a single parent, since hb and I are still happily married. Nonetheless, the solo-parent status applies to my parenting life right now.

I asked K this question recently, “Do you think you have a brave-heart?”

His response to me was, “No, I have a chicken-heart, as I cry easily when I feel hurt and I am sometimes afraid of insects.” Hb used to say that K was being ‘chicken-hearted’ when he got too sensitive, or don’t show enough courage for challenges that he encounters.

My reply to him was, “Not chicken-hearted. You have a tender heart, that can be brave and courageous as God is with you.”

I believe I still can be the parent who will let him understand what I see and admire most in men. Build his confidence, demonstrate that actions have consequences, help him gain a tender heart, and teach him how to love God with all his heart.

7 year old 1

I am K’s mom, I am not his dad. And I will never expect to be both, as I think I will fail quite miserably.

My focus as K’s mom is to build a heart connection with him, and will never try to be the dad that I can never be.

I guess I am still in a good place when it comes to being a parent. Even if I means that I am the one who has to pick up dead lizards and get rid of any insect that find their way into our room.

Felt Bunny Softie 1

P.S. When K was a baby, I used to be so envious of people who were able to make beautiful quilted blankets for their babies. I still haven’t got around making a blanket for K, since he doesn’t have a need for one anymore.

I have found the next best alternative; softies. This isn’t the first softie that I have made for him, as he still has the wonky-looking cat softies I made for him 3 years ago. But it is the first personalized softie complete with glasses and his first name initial.

Just one of the many reasons why I love to do hand-mades, as this will be the only softie bunny uniquely like this one.

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