Archives for August 2008

Attachment is a funny thing. I am amazed how much can change over a short span of time and how a 16 month year old toddler can be so perceptive towards this.

All it takes is the quality and quantity of time spent with Kyle. I have heard many mothers telling me (esp working mothers) that the quality of time spent is important to build a bond with your child. But the not so pleasant truth, according to child attachment studies is that quantity of time is equally important as well.

Fundamentally, attachment is the affectionate tie that the child will have for the special people in their lives. This is built through being responsive to the child’s needs, especially when the mother’s or caregiver’s physical presence for the child is needed. Or whenever the child experiences times of stress, even the nearness of the mother is enough to comfort him. So just think about number of hours that you are physically present for your child, especially during those times when he needs you.

So what influences attachment security? A consistent caregiver, prompt, responsive and appropriate caregiving and even family circumstances. There are ways to measure attachment, just compare the behaviour patterns that your child will display after you leave and then return. Read more about it in my post here http://parachutetime.blogspot.com/2008/08/how-secure-is-your-childs-attachment-to.html

When I think back about Kyle’s attachment to me when I went back to work after maternity leave, it was quite clear that he was exhibiting traits of avoidant attachment. He often ignored me when I came back from work and that was rather heartbreaking for me.

Thank God that things have changed so much since then. I am blessed to be able to spend more time with him and be physically there for Kyle during times of need. Most importantly, be there when he needs someone to play and laugh with. I will never want to be the object of this question, ‘Where were you when I wanted to share my joy or during those times when I needed you?’

I will surely want to be the parent that promotes these aspects of positive development in my child; confident and self assured, advanced emotional understanding, effective social skills, stronger sense of moral responsibility and higher motivation to achieve in school.

Related posts:

One of Kyle’s favorite people, Yiyi, celebrated her

forever 21st birthday on 2nd August.

Kyle’s favorite part of the (any) birthday celebration was to

help the birthday girl blow out the candles.

The little cherubic eating machine surprised me with

his voracious appetite and was independently feeding himself.

According to Kyle, the highlight of having a family celebration

at a seafood restaurant,

is getting out of his chair at least 4x that evening,

waving to the rest at the table each time,

before setting out for his next excursion to view the live seafood.

Related posts:

(Try not to read any further if you get disgusted just by reading about bowel movements…)

I get obsessed about when my kid will pass motion. It is really common lately to hear me ask my helper, ‘Was it only yesterday he p.s.?’ ‘Did he manage to p.s. in the afternoon (usually asked when I am out for the afternoon). Or more matter of fact kind of way, ‘Great, he p.s. today, so can sleep well tonight,’ or ‘Good to eat this fruit so that he can get more roughage to p.s….’ etc. The ultimate when I was at class one evening (it was already 3 days since Kyle p.s.), I received this sms from Keith in the middle of my lesson, ‘The shxx has arrived.’

I can’t help but being so hung up about Kyle’s bowel movement. Since he is so active all the time, he has difficulty concentrating to p.s. Often after two days of no bowel movement, he will wake up with a stomachache and have problems sleeping well that night.

Probably will have to wait for a couple more months before he starts to show signs of readiness to be potty trained. Here’s how he is like when he is managing his bowel movement.

No, this is not some photo that I conveniently took of Kyle when he was taking a nap. He does get into some strange positions at times.

Ok…enough of toilet talk.

Kyle visited Botanic Gardens for the first time on Monday morning. Not too proud to say that this is Kyle’s first visit to a park of any sort, since I don’t quite fancy getting all hot and sweaty.

This little boy seem to love the outdoors, so looks it will be more visits to Botanic Gardens in the very near future then.

This is also the first time that he got up close with turtles in a ‘natural’ man-made habitat.

Do-Re-Mi, three turtles in a row

Related posts: