Archives for April 2010

Boy’s toys – PG only

hunting

I expected that this day will come.

The day that K finally embraces his gender stereotype and play with toy guns. I am really not surprised, since infancy, he has always been given to wear gender specific colours like blue, sleeps in a room with blue bedding and been provided with toy vehicles, tools and sports equipment. Well, at least he still plays alot with his cooking set, cash register and household cleaning set.

When he turned two, he became rather fascinated with swords and kept asking me to buy him one during our trips to the toy store, and did not stop asking for it until I finally got him two foam swords. After that, we spent some of K's play-time being swashbuckling swordsmen and playing dead.

I suppose I made the mistake of subscribing to the kids channel on cable when he was about 1 year old. It was through cartoon network that he discovered the concept of super-hero about 6 months back and lost all interest in Mickey Mouse thereafter. It did not help that his dad got quite fascinated by Ben-10 as well, and purchased the whole series of the cartoon online for him. I made sure that I was the wet blanket and reminded K, "You know Ben-10 is not real right, He is a cartoon and it is all pretend."

The fascination with toy guns started from the beginning of this year when we visited an extended family member's house, and he was exposed to my cousin's collection of Nerf toy guns. This interest is also further exacerbated by his dad who spends alot of his time at home with PS2 RPG games.

It was last week when he had to be dragged out of a shop bawling, as I refused to buy the toy gun that he badly wanted. Dh then exclaimed that he has to be the one that buy K his first toy gun, which he did earlier this week. Our experience at the toy store and K's introduction to toy 'gun-play' was almost akin to a modern rite of passage, as from a toddler to a preschooler.

I am definitely concerned about the influence of violence through this toy. However, putting a stop to it is not an answer, when dh totally approves of it. I try to manage his child angst to healthier levels but setting rules in 'gun-play'; no shooting people or animals, no shooting furniture or things in the house. So he is limited to aiming his gun at walls, toy figurines and matchbox cars.

Look on the bright side. He just might follow his father's and uncle's footsteps and become a marksman when he goes to NS. I used to think that super-hero/warrior play don't start till they are about 5 years of age. Just as well let him get it out of his system, maybe by the time he turns 5 years old, he will be into microscopes and board games?

Anyhow, I already told dh that he has to handle it all, if we ever get any complaints from school which concerns any of K's potential aggressive tendencies. In the meantime, we are still doing lots of pretend-play with his cooking set and cash register.

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Relish!

I found another companion whom I can enjoy Japanese food with…

jap1

He loves Ramen, Chawanmushi and Ebiko sushi and insists that he has to sit on the seats next to the conveyor belt, so that he can "see the food go round and round."

jap2

He enjoys his Ramen with such relish and shows his appreciation (Japanese style) by slurping loud.

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Playground police

If you have been to the indoor playground in Paragon, you will notice that it can get quite crowded and rowdy with kids on most days, especially the weekends. It is quite common to see children jostling over one another to get up the play structure, and then scrambling over one another in the tunnel to get to the slides. It was only barely about 8 months back that I allowed K to explore this playground, as I felt there was always too many children at one time. Besides, I wanted him to be able to manage by himself, as most kids tend to get a little rough when they get excited during play.

So yesterday afternoon when we went to Paragon for lunch, K spent time in the playground but unfortunately became a victim of the 'Playground Police'. The 'Playground Police' came in the form of two moms. Mom number 1 who was hovering around her daughter, who was about the same age as K. The little girl climb into the tunnel leading to the slides and parked herself inside in there, caused a small bottleneck and the rest of the children behind her could not get to the other side. K being smaller than some of the older children, figured that there might be some space for him to squeeze inside. So he squeezed in behind her and tried to crawl to the other side of the tunnel. Mom number 1 stared at him fiercely and say, "You, naughty!". And then continued hovering her daughter, who was oblivious to what has happened. 

Mom number 2 had a two year old son which she allowed the boy to walk up the slides, when other children were coming down from the top of the slide. When it came to K's turn, on his way down, the mom shouted loudly to K, "Don't push!" Then for the next 10 minutes, she was looking quite angry while hovering over her child at the same time.

The whole time, I was standing about 30 metres away from the playground, watching K from a distance. I got rather irate after K's encounter with the 'Playground Police,' but at the moment when it happened, I chose not to interfere, as I know that I will probably be quite sarcastic to both moms. I cannot fathom what goes through these mother's minds when they bring their kids to the playground.

For Mom number 1, it seems that she did not notice that her child caused a bottleneck in the playground and was quick to come too her child's aid, and assumed that another child cause physical hurt to her child. Why over-react when there wasn't even a slightest squeak from her child? As for Mom number 2, slides are good to climb up only when there are no other children sliding down from the top. Why start blaming on some other child, when you child is in fact causing an obstruction?

When I asked K during lunch if he was scolded by 'aunties' when he was in playground, his reply was 'No.' I made my point. Obviously coming to the aid of your child and scolding the 'perpetrator' has totally no impact on the latter. The latter does not even understand the consequence of what has happened, as there was no intention of causing harm in the first place.

K has got his fair share of being pushed and shoved when we were there a couple of months back. He got pushed by two kids at separate occasions, pick himself up after the first push, but he started to cry after the second push when he fell hard on his knees on the metal play structure. Did I go after the 2 children that pushed him? Obviously not. Children being children, it is in their nature to get a little rough when they play. Besides I want K to learn how to pick himself up after a fall, and not to be quick to blame others when things happen to him. Most importantly, learn to stand up for himself and tell the other child not to push.

Over-protectiveness is not a good thing. Children need to guided and learn to manage conflict and not expect their parents to be around to handle situations for them all the time.

What will you have done if you were in my shoes? Will you approach the parent for maligning your child or would have done the same thing as I did?

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