Source: hartandsew.blogspot.com via Kelley L on Pinterest
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Kyle loves going to the playground. Probably most kids his age do.
I used to like going to the playground with him…until lately.
The usual playground we went to was fine till he got spat on by another child. It's tough to be in that child's parent's shoes at that moment, but I was irate nonetheless when it happened to Kyle. I quickly cleaned Kyle up while I waited for the parent to prompt the child to apologise to Kyle or turn to me with an apology, but there was none forthcoming, except an exasperated look on the parent's face. The parent went on berating the child loudly, then the child took off into a distance while the exasperated parent went after her.
The child and parent were chinese nationals by the way. I am not one who will start ranting about our government's immigration policies but it still shocked me how some parents (regardless of their nationality) fail to take their child in hand and address the misbehaviour at that moment.
So I am always standing at the sidelines watching Kyle, sometimes barking instructions to him, making sure that he is safe and does not show aggressiveness and is polite to other kids.
That experience did not turn him or me off visiting playgrounds in malls or hdb estates, but lately another experience at the playground in our estate make me feel quite nervous about bringing him to the playground.
It was our first time at our estate's playground.
He saw 2 older kids playing, a boy who was likely in 6 or 7 with his older sister who was 9 or 10, whose grandma just left them to play by themselves.. Being quite a sociable child, Kyle will normally approach other kids in the playground, say hi and introduce himself, then ask if they could play together. Everything seemed to be going well until they started playing tag around the playground. The boy and his sister, who were older and more agile easily dodge Kyle's clumsy attempts to tag them, climbed onto the playground structure and started chanting this in unison, taunting Kyle as he tried to chase them, "Little pig, little pig, you are so slow, you can't chase me."
Maybe I am being overly sensitive, but I cannot tolerate name-calling amongst children. I took offence at the word 'pig' that they used, not that I have to take kosher or halal food for religious reasons. I love my minced pork, xiao long paus, barbeque pork, tau yew bak and all. But I think that kids who are older really should not be calling a younger child names, mocking him just because he seemed slower or less agile than they are.
Maybe it is just childish banter, but for me, it is pure lack of respect for individual differences and plain bad manners.
So what I did I do? I just kept quiet, watching nervously at the sidelines, as I realised that Kyle was oblivious to the name calling and was still having fun.
Until the play got disrupted by another 9 or 10 year old boy who came to join them at the playground and cajoled the younger boy to stop his play with Kyle and play with him. The younger boy said, "I am playing catching with him (referring to Kyle)." While the older boy's reply was, "But he is so small…" With that, the younger boy just ran off with the older one without saying a word to Kyle. While I spotted the disappointment in my son's eyes.
It is heartbreaking to see him get disappointed or hurt but I need him to deal with situations like these. I will intervene if he looks like if he is going to be hurt by another child or if he is going to be physically aggressive, but otherwise I keep my butt glued to the bench.
I waited for him to walk back to me and and he stayed really quiet throughout. I only said this to him when we were walking away from the playground, "Some boys are like that. We need to tell our friends that we are going to stop playing and not just walk away without saying a word or even saying goodbye. It is not nice and not polite."
I told hb about the whole incident and his response was, "The boys who live in private estates are usually very bratty," that's coming from someone who spent his pre-teen and teen years growing up in a condo.
I am still hoping to spot that little boy that is about the same age as Kyle each time I sneak glances at the playground whenever we are downstairs. Maybe another day I will muster enough courage to bring him to the playground when he asks for it. Until then, we will be contented cycling or taking walks around the estate in the evenings.
I miss the playground at our old home, sometimes, we may encounter that errant kid who spits but at least we don't get kids like that.
