Me ‘Kiasu’?

I never thought I will be thinking of this so soon…but today, I finally succumbed to the common syndrome that plague lots of Singaporean parents; planning ahead for their child’s primary education.

Just a few days ago, I loudly exclaimed to Dh that it is ok to stay where we are at now and then find a nearby primary school to register K in when time comes. I was thinking that it really did not matter and it was alright to drop our privileges (to be in one of the top 10 most popular primary schools in Singapore) to get into Phase 2A1 (if he joins the alumni) or Phase 2A2 for being a ‘old-boy’ of the school. So I thought to myself, “I wonder what is the big deal about getting into a good primary school, I should not be so ‘kiasu’ since K hasn’t even started kindergarten…”

I realised that I have put a foot to my mouth after I spent this morning with my neighbour downstairs; Lay Keng, a SAHM with 4 kids. Her oldest being 15 years old and Seth, her youngest child, is the same age as K. We talked about her children’s experience in primary school, 3 separate experiences and how each varied from the other depending on the type of school the child attends.

We talked about the parent volunteer system, how we can get into Phase 2B of a fairly good Christian primary school near our home (unfortunately distance of school is > than 1km), if the school have any vacancies for parent volunteers. Parent volunteers need to accumulate 40 hours of service (that’s akin to starting volunteering when the child turns 4). Anyhow I am not even certain that I will be accepted as parent volunteer, since I don’t even know what ‘service’ I can offer to the school.

Key take-outs from our conversation? It does make a difference which school the child attends. It will differ from the kind of support teachers/school can give to the other areas of development for the child (apart from academic development). Dh and I came from good primary schools (due to the effort on the part of our parents), so shouldn’t I give my child a chance to be in a better primary school as well?

It dawned on me that I am a kiasu parent, to be even thinking about this even before K turns 3. Just when I told myself from the start of the new year that I will need to learn to be contented, learn to live a day at a time and trust God for my future, I find myself thinking of things that are more than 4 years away. I find it such a irony when I don’t even know what will happen from a year from here, yet I am thinking of something 4 years from now?

It’s bizarre how having a child can make you conceive traits that you previously hope you will never have.

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Re-prioritising

After spending so much time these last 3 years learning about child development and familiarising myself with the various education methods and ways to bring up a child. I often wonder what route I will take if dh and I chose to home-school K.

I still don’t have the courage and the discipline to do this and will chose the conventional route of entering my child into Singapore’s school system. However I will have to admit that I have a dislike for Singapore’s educational system. I was a late developer, struggled through my academic years in upper primary school and secondary school. And only managed to blossom when I was sent to Australia for my university years.

What if K is like me? I really hope not, I rather he takes after his dad in the academic ‘department’ (dh was in the ‘gifted’ programme from primary 4). This will surely make it a little easier for me in his schooling years.

Recently, when dh and nana were watching golf channel in her place, they talked about the possibility of grooming K into a sportsman. K has shown potential for golf and tennis from a very young age. He picked up tennis before he could walk, would be hitting the balls while sitting in his tricycle. And could effortlessly swing his toy golf clubs and hit plastic golf balls when he was about 1 and a half years old.

However, the grim possibility is this. Even if K is gifted in golf or tennis, it is hard for him to gain international standing if we were to stay within Singapore. If our family cannot afford to invest hundreds of thousands to send him to a foreign university in US or UK, sponsor him for international tours to obtain a standing in PGA or Pro tennis circuit, there isn’t a chance.

Instead of banking on hopes of being able to groom a sportsman, it is my job to expose him to as much learning as possible while growing up. Golf and tennis can be for leisure, if he really shows a gift for it, we can pursue it as see how far it brings him. The focus cannot be just in academics, it is not enough for one to just have book smarts. But also in areas of moral, emotional intelligence, social development, nature, sciences and the arts.

Sounds like a list of things to do and a huge challenge for me, but when I learnt more about the Charlotte Mason educational method, it is not as hard as I imagined it to be. I have read about this about a year ago, but recently my interest in it has been renewed after reviewing my home-school experiences with K thus far. I will be looking at ways to incorporate the principles of this method with our home curriculum, and continue using this to supplement his learning even when he enters preschool. This method will have more longevity as he develops and will allow me to learn alongside with him.

It is of my utmost conviction that that I bring up a child who will become a socially responsible and accountable adult, has self-control, learns to relate and adapts well to the environment around him. And most importantly, put God first in his life.

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Midway into the last quarter of 2009

midweek

We are already into November! Time seemed to have flown by unusually fast this year, I can’t believe that we are less than 2 months away from Christmas. Note to self : have to draft the Christmas shopping list, start buying 1-2 gifts per week so I don’t get caught up in the Christmas rush.

I am still letting K take teeny weeny baby steps in his homeschool lessons, in fact we have only done 2 alphabets since we started more than 2 weeks ago. That’s how slow we are going! He has been busy with unstructured activities for this week…mostly doing messy art and lots of play. He is having so much fun, till it has been quite difficult to convince him stop what he is doing to take his nap in the afternoons, brush his teeth or even go to bed at night.

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